Away for a bit but not uncreative...

[Francine]

Been an interesting time of reconsolidation and creation. This time of year is always a time of drawing within and focusing on reorganizing self and space. Some people do "spring cleaning"..mine always begins starting August-ish, and culminates in a plan of sorts by the end of October. That for me is the beginning of the harvesting of the old goals and the re-evaluation and resetting of goals for the upcoming cold season and into the summer.
I have reclaimed relearning a language that I walked away from years ago when I was in school, and I've taken out all my books and am working on them again. A tougher go than I expected... I've gotten out of the habit of "study" and research that I love. Am doing research again to. Not for myself, but for a co-worker who is seeking his own way at rediscovering his own path after many years of wandering. Its something that I have always done well, and something that I can see trying to figure out as a full time money making proposition possibly.
I spent the last weekend of October (my "new years") doing reclaiming and reorganizing and creating. Have done a lot of spinning on spec, because of all the success we had at the knitter's guild fair in September. With a full work day, and all the daily necessities of 4 kids, trying to maintain a relationship which is growing but where we still have our own spaces so time together is a challenge especially during the week, and the physio that I'm doing because of the car accident it has been too much of "other stuff". I have been doing more stuff for me. The spinning has been good, the language learning and research is wonderful to help me reclaim where I want to be. The world is shifting, for me, and I know that I will not be in my current job much longer. I have no idea yet what the Universe is bringing my way, but having reclaimed an aspect of Spirit that I had been ignoring for a while, I KNOW without any doubt in my bones and Soul that I will not be there much longer. I am looking, for something else, and the resume is also complete in all but target so that can be sent at a moment's notice to whom ever needs to see it.
The loom is all ready to warp, and I'm going through all the yarns that were packed for the move, pulling them out of storage and making them more accessible so that once the loom is warped I will be able to grab what I need more easily. It has been a very productive time away. I have been working on moving forward for myself rather than allowing everyone else's needs to take priority all the time. It has felt good to give myself permission to be alone again. I need it so much... especially since writing time has taken a huge hit with the current job. There's no down time to be able to steal 4-5 min to jot things down, much less the privacy to be able to do that. I hate where I am and for my own sanity I have to be elsewhere even though I love the people that I am working with. Its no longer enough to satisfy my soul. I can't seem to find a purpose in this new position, and its killing my soul and my body.

That has, in great part, been the impetus to really get moving on my own soul satisfying movement. and its feeding the need to find that something that will give me a bit of peace. It finally feels like its all clicking into place and the whole picture will finally show itself a little more clearly soon.
The creation of this new life, and new outlook has been a long time coming, and a lot of internal work. Its time to finally step into what I'm supposed to be doing without fear for a change. Creating a lot of good stuff, even though its not something that is tangible quite yet. Even my back health is improving with the better outlook....