And the winner is....art!

[Gretchen Heartaday]

So for the last eighteen months or so I've been mostly sidetracked away from doing art, first when I thought I needed to be a massage therapist and then when I needed to be a Giant Squid on Squidoo followed by learning how to build a website the Site Build It way.

Yesterday I had a long meeting with a great creative business coach (who provides her services free here in my small town because some people here were brilliant enough to create an economic development office to help businesses develop, both large and small).

I discussed with her how I have all of these different "arms" of a business that I want to focus on...art, massage, websites...and now I want to turn my house in a part time B&B because we don't have any decent lodging in town. I want to host some big name artists to do workshops, for one thing. I wanted her to help me figure out how to do all this and integrate it somehow.

I have been thinking I should be focusing on developing the massage business because it seems to be the obvious way to make the most money the quickest. But I can't seem to get going because I really just want to do intuitive therapy/energy work and that is a hard sell in middle america (and the south, apparently, as I've learned right here in CCS - it's the devil's work! lol ).

Or is lack of the right kind of clients the REAL problem with my massage business?

After three hours with this coach it became clear to both of us that I need to be concentrating on the professional artist aspect. I admit, it's kind of a shock. Because for the last 20 years I've been trying to be a professional energy worker, too, and I thought the only thing holding me back was the massage therapy license. The energy work is still in play, it's just not the primary focus. (Maybe I was burned at the stake too many times in past lives -wink-)

This is the first time in all of the past 25 years of trying to be "an artist" that I feel like it makes sense to do it.

Maybe sometimes you have to go off and explore alternate "realities" for a while so you can understand what your real vocation is. Part of me is discouraged because I feel like I'm running out of time and that perhaps I wasted money on the massage therapy school when I should have kept going forward with the art as I was just starting to gain momentum as an artist.

But maybe I needed to fully immerse myself in the healing world for a while so when I came back to art it wouldn't always be haunting me that I should have gone to massage therapy school. Now I have my license and I can stop expending mental energy on that aspect of it. Make sense?

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

"come on down to the single wide any old time ... just bring steaks with ya ... " ha ha!

[Jules]

Wow..that is something Barb!
Can't even get rent that low here in a shack by the cornfield...unless you want to move into a neighborhood that requries chain-link, security alarms and dobermans

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Anything is possible if ya put your heart into it ...

View Link

Coolest find on Craigslist? Mansion living in Seattle, just $650/month

Wouldn't it be great to live in a mansion on the water, Gatsby-style, with your best friends and make art all day? That was the fantasy of Celene Ramadan ...

[Jules]

Oh, we can tease and call it babbling all we want. I have enjoyed all of this...it has actually given me hope that I can and will find a way to keep art in the forefront.

Right now, some of you know that I paint houses for income. I enjoy doing this, and know that it is a service for many of my clients- ones who have painted themselves in the past but are too old or unhealthy to do so now. I can write my own hours for the most part, and have no boss other than myself to a large degree, and the client to a lesser degree. I have never woke up thinking 'oh shit. Time for work' because it does not feel like work.

Yet...there is that within me that is screaming for attention...something urging me to turn it around a little and find a way to get income from the artistic paintings- and supplement with the house painting instead of the other way around. I am not getting any younger and painting is a physical job that I may not want to continue once the bones start really creaking...

I am finding it inspiring that you are all listening to your internal call...and that you did not always know what that call was, but are finding it. That helps me-I know I can relax a little about what it is for me, and just keep opening doors and windows until I have gathered enough information and experience to hear that internal call.
So often I saw successful people and automatically assumed that they have always known what they were going to be when they grew up. That may be true for a few, but I realize now that most of them did their own searching before they found their niche.

I went to college as an adult- that is when I began house painting because that was a job I could work around classes and exams. Instead of asking me what degree I was after, one of the guys asked me 'what are you going to be when you grow up?'
I laughed and told him 'An educated painter'

I have been blessed to have found this occupation- I have done well by it, and it has done well by me. Yet, there is an internal hiccup,( for lack of a better word) that seems to want attention. This discussion has made me acutely aware of it. Yes, Gretchen, I have definately benefited from your insights- as well as the insights that Joanna, Beverly and Barb added to the discussion.

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Ah ... look what you have created, Gretchen :) Great thread. I'll take a turn at babbling now :)

I know what you mean about the unwillingness to accept alternatives in health (and in spirituality) and I think many of us run up against that brick wall that people will put up. As the psychic healer who has helped me said (when I apologized for tossing his book back to him like a hot potato the first time I met him) ... "Love won't go where it isn't wanted" :)

There is general acceptance of energy work in the area where I live. I feel as Jules does that the Internet is giving us all more ability to seek and find, satisfy our curiosity about different ways of being and doing things. I was a real skeptic for a long time about a lot of new age things. It's very easy to only see the extremists; as with anything, there is a tendency for the media to point out the "weirdest" things they can for shock value, and consequently everything associated gets stereotyped with the weird stamp. Some older people won't even consider the Internet, happy with the way life is without it and fearful of change. And some of the ones who do use the Internet seem intent on expressing and supporting their own opinions above all else :) It takes all kinds.

Anyway, a pinch of tolerance really helps. Things are changing, whether we like it or not, whether we accept it or reject it, or choose to lament about things not being like the good old days. The only thing that is constant is change. Change involves uncertainty, and that's what frightens a lot of folks. It's interesting that you are drawn to return to the church you grew up in and memories of your grandmother and your childhood. Revisiting those things on another turn of the wheel can be enlightening. Like Bev and Jules, I've always been interested in human psychology and examining our own psyche is a real good idea.

One more train of thought ... I think things are changing so rapidly that many are going through this creative looking at how to sustain an income, daring to take action toward making their own reality more in line with the dreams of their heart. There's a historical home here in Bend that is a gorgeous setting on a pond in the heart of the downtown area, I used to clean it and now I clean the home next door that was built by the owners. The old home has been on the market a long time ... they have lowered the price to just under two million dollars. It was once owned by a doctor and the upstairs that used to be the medical rooms is absolutely perfect as an art studio ... or the way it is laid out with two baths upstairs and two downstairs, could very well be a beautiful Bed and Breakfast Inn. I've often wandered through it, turning it all over in my mind what it would be like. The only drawback (besides the two million dollars!) is that I don't believe the zoning in that area would permit a commercial enterprise, it's a very exclusive and beautiful residential neighborhood. But if only ... !!! I just KNOW it would be in demand all year around. I really hope some creative people will eventually own it and enjoy it to the fullest ..

Okay! be dah be dah be dah be dah dat's all, folks!

[Jules]

You know...a certian B&B proprietor could provide contemplative, relaxing music in the background during an artistic workshop...

[Gretchen Heartaday]

I am honored that the three of you shared your experiences with me. Things that each of you said mean more to me than I can really express. I just thought I had an interesting insight that I wanted to share because I thought somebody else might benefit from it. I didn't expect to get these big energetic hugs back! Not because CCS isn't (usually) a warm and welcoming place but because I had no idea there would be people here on such a similar path.

It's interesting...originally I was going to be a musician. That's what I wanted from when I was a little kid and that's what my family wanted, except they wanted me to be a concert pianist and I wanted to be a rock star and jazz pianist. So I've really struggled with it and basically let it go. But I have no doubt that my energy work and my abilities as a musician are identical. It's all about attunement and merging and sharing and ultimately transformation of some sort.

So..I've found myself going back to the Methodist church I grew up in the last month or so. My grandma was the church organist there for 40 years and she was determined that I would be a concert pianist and organist. Of course, I rebelled. I did do a stint as a church organist for 5 years straight at a different church in the 1990s because I was desperate for money. And I've been afraid to go back to this one a) I'm a shaman and I need a goddess in my religion, and b) I knew I wouldn't be able to get by without being asked to do some organist duties because churches in small towns are desperate and because of my long standing reputation. Well, they let me go for the first three Sundays. But today three people asked me about it. I had already talked to the current organist (who would like a break) about doing a duet because we have similar musical tastes. I thought it would be nice if we could do a duet my grandma and I used to.

Anyway, I'm making a long story out of really just saying that here comes the other piece of my life that I was just going to ignore. I could probably do anything I wanted because I'm not sure they have any kind of music program anymore. I've even had some higher level training in conducting music. It's as if the music part of me is running to catch up behind the bus that is all these plans for the art and B&B and saying "hey, wait for me, i can do something, here!".

Anyway...let the babbling continue... and thanks again to all of you...very much.

[Beverly]

Hi Gretchen,
and now I have the rambling bug. First off, I love the concept you are striving for with the b&b and all. I too find it intriguing and would love more info about it.
I agree with Jules about the midwest being very slow to embrace energy healing. You have to really look for it. My husband and I are energy healers/reiki practitioners who actually got certified down in Florida. Yes, Florida seems more open-minded than the midwest. My opinion only. In fact, we were talking about someday moving out West (southwest probably) because we feel that our open-mindedness to new things like alternative medicine/energy work would be embraced out there more readily.
In the meantime, we go to monthly gatherings at a "retreat" place in the woods and do energy work on people who just want to see what it's all about. Beautiful setting.
Anyway, yes, I understand also about the going through life trying to figure out who you are and what resonates deeply with you. I've always loved art/music but got sidetracked along the way, first by working in business for many years, then going back to college to get my bachelors and almost my masters in counseling psychology. I do not regret this as it helped me to examine myself and who I was (yes, many people go into psychology to figure themselves out). Then, my own issues got into the way and unable to focus as well as I "should" with the clients, I dropped out of the counseling business.
Now, I'll say in the last year probably, my energy has really picked up as I focus on myself as an artist/creative being. This year, as I embrace who I am, venues are opening up for me to share my art, I am tapping into my unique creative self and not trying to be like other artists and I don't know. I still love psychology and people and incorporate psychological/healing aspects into my work hoping that those who view the art feel positive vibes, feel happy, feel some healing, some change. That's all I want and hope for, and of course I always feel healing within myself as I create.
Just follow your dream. No regrets, everything in life is meant for a reason, for a lesson, for growth.
Perhaps the energy work is a way for you to tap into your heart, your soul, all those cells that hold those memories that need to be processed and released.
Anyway, I love the discussion here, I can so relate, I've been there, still am and hope we keep sharing here as I feel quite a kinship with you all.
Don't think so much, let your heart lead you. That's what I am discovering more and more seems to work for me, anyway.

[Jules]

Gretchen! Kudos for devising a plan- recognizing all your 'arms' and finding a way to make what you love and know work. You are blessed to hav had a business coach helping without charging a steep fee!
I want to comment on a few statements you made- first, you said
"But I can't seem to get going because I really just want to do intuitive therapy/energy work and that is a hard sell in middle america" Yes. Have no doubts that is the truth...now. I have noticed- with the internet becoming more central to peoples daily activities that is slowly beginning to change. I believe there are a lot of people in 'cow town' that are interested in energy healing. It just has not been avaliable due to this lack of acceptance of it- this wall being erected by the 'professional' health community. They are finding information on line that is unavaliable at the corner drug store.

I know of a gal- Joyce- she was diagnosed with cancer- so she began to do some research to see if she could find out why. She discovered and dig into the toxicidity that we put into our own system with the foods we eat. She went to Calif to study with a doctor of natural heath and healing( It is a recognized healing practice there-not here). She put into practice what she was learning-and her cancer was gone with no kemo, radiation or other treatments.
She opened a store to sell and teach what she learned-remember this is not recognized in Indiana- so she did not have the 'right people'...And (you will love this) one or two doctors actually called her a witch doctor!

But...she had friends from her early cancer support group. Some of them came to see her -although these people still needed treatments for their cancer- they were recovering much faster than their doctors expected them to. These people had family and friends, who had family and friends...soon people were finding her
...in fact one of the doctors started telling people to go to her (not to see her as a doctor-naturally- but to learn about healthy living)
That was a long winded way to say that, although it is happening slowly- more and more people in middle america are being exposed to and more open to these concepts of mind body spirit, energy as avenues to health.

The other statement you made I want to blab about is
"that perhaps I wasted money on the massage therapy school "
No. I do not think you wasted anything on the massage therapy. So- say that you never practice it for a living...you learned something- and you cannot say when or how this knowledge will be needed- or used- but one day down the road it will be prove useful. What we commit to our minds cannot be taken away.

I am excited for you. The B&B with artists and workshops...I think you hit on something there- I see potential in that (and here is where some of your web knowledge will help- with the advertising and promotion of that)
In fact- let us know if you decide to do that so I can sign up for a workshop!!
I am glad that it makes sense to be an artist to you now...I am always 'wowed' by what I have seen of your art.

Joanna's rambling must have been contagious :-)

[Joanna]

Gretchen,
Nearly 4 yrs ago I fel the need to be doing something else in my life- something more soulfully rewarding. After working a full time day job, I went to school at night for nearly 11 mos, took my national board exam and became a licensed massage therapist. It was extemely hard work trying to build a client base, while still working a job and raising kids. It's even tougher when you don't have another income to support or back you while trying to move into another field.
I can relate to several things you said.

Or is lack of the right kind of clients the REAL problem with my massage business? I'm a Northerner living in the South for about 12 yrs now.Not sure where in the south you live. Yes, I agree with what you said. You do have to have the right kind of clients to sell your energy work and massage. What I got excited about was reading your interest in a B and B in your small town and your being a built in massage therapist as an emenity to that business. Could be an unique offering if presented in the right way.
I am no longer doing massage therapy. As you know it's very hard on the massage therapist's body and while I was able to make some money, my body told me to stop. While I love giving them, my body was delighted at being the recipient of them more. I felt guilty for awhile that I had wasted all the time, energy, study hours.time away from my kids. money in going to school, but, in the end decided I had not. I had picked up a lot more than I knew and so I have not regretted it. My experience with energy work, and many of the other modalities have carried over into other areas of my life, and perhaps consciously or unconsciously will resonate in my art work somewhere a long the line.

Maybe sometimes you have to go off and explore alternate "realities" for a while so you can understand what your real vocation is. Part of me is discouraged because I feel like I'm running out of time


I think you are right about that. I think it's part of life in that we sometimes have to do other things, explore other things, be around other people sometimes to find out we need to be back where we always knew we should be. While i am not making money as an artist at this point, I am doing more art, being more creative in my daily life than I have since I left college as a dance major many yrs ago.
I feel like I'm running out of time, too, and that gets me to the point where I have umpteen different projects going at one time,which can be overwhelming if I let it be. It sounds like you have a lot of ideas- all of them creative, but it also sounds like you will always return to your being an artist. Sorry if i was rambling. It's late at night and I'm tired. Your words struck a familiar chord with me and I wanted to share. i wish you well.