Francesca's Page

This is the story of a staircase to the stars.
You know nowadays famous people are very busy getting on with their promos, interviews and all that. One day, however, one rode away in the sport car he was meant to be driving in a scene of the next movie he was starring in. He drove and drove till he found himself quite lost in a desert. As he started to feel he would have better stayed in the job rather than run away, he saw a hermit hitchhiking in the midst of the only motorway cutting through that orange desert.
“What the hell are you doing here?” –he shouted at the man, with the candid arrogance of a Hollywood actor.
“I am searching for heaven,” was his answer.
“Well,” the actor said, “you’d better jump in if you don’t want to die scorched by the sun. I can’t give you the heaven you’re talking about, but we can still keep each other company.”
The hermit complied and off they drove, down the huge, empty motorway. It was only during the night that the actor started to suspect the hermit was a poor madman. He watched him speak aloud incomprehensible languages, his face raised towards the night sky, as if on the point of soaring. He was praying for a sign but to the actor he was just raving and being eccentric. Every night as they rested from their journey, the hermit would behave that way, until once something happened.
The milk way was sparkling and pulsing with light over their heads and, as the horizon grew clear in their sight, some far away planets became visible. As dawn approached, a big pink balloon was floating nearer and nearer in the sky, till it landed in front of them. The actor, who was a bit superstitious, wanted to start the car and drive away at once. He still remembered creepy stories of aliens in disguise, but the hermit bade him stay and be calm. Out of the balloon a silver-haired child came and spoke this way:
“You called me by your prayers and asked for my help: I am here to help you ascend to heaven.”
The actor was now convinced that child was in fact a dangerous alien but the hermit explained:
“She is a star child, the star seed that will save us from our misconceptions, and illusions. You’d better pay attention to what she says.”
The child nodded, and said: “If you can think of a time when you were truly happy and free, when you did no harm and received no injury in this world, you’re halfway to heaven. If you can think of a time when you’re heart was aching with the hot pain of injustice and sorrow and you felt you would try to change this world, then, you’re almost there. However, if you can close your eyes and conceive a world of plenty and sharing, without doubting that this is the nature of the universe, you’ll get there straight away.”
The actor, who was used to dramatic scenes and special effects, could not believe that was all and did not want to be tricked by this seeming simplicity. “There must be more to it” –he thought to himself. But the hermit was baffled, as he had spent such a long time fasting, praying and being lonely. The child read their minds and smiled. She would show them the star way to heaven. She stretched her left arm and pointed to the North Star with her finger and closed her eyes: an astounding vortex of light descended from the star, sweeping the sand-dunes and leaving the two men speechless with awe. It took the shape of a golden staircase. They would be able to step onto it and proceed only if they could think the way she had already described.
As simple as it sounded, they failed many times. The child left them when the sun was high in the sky, but encouraged them to trust and not to give up. Since then, the actor and the hermit became one another’s shadow, supporting each other in the attempt of ascending. In time the actor abandoned his shallowness and the hermit stopped frowning at worldly pleasures. They got back to the civilized world and started a charity to provide for street children and war victims, together they became very active in the world. Still, for all their efforts, they could not see a way forward as the world essentially appeared to them a place of darkness and sorrow. It was only when the economic crisis came and people stopped going to the cinema that the actor started to ponder what he liked about his job, and why he had chosen it among many. On the other side, the hermit remembered how it had all begun for himself: his sorrow for the loss of his beloved had led him away from the world. They engaged in long conversations and little by little they realized they had been looking for something that would keep their minds away from what really mattered to them.
And what was it that really mattered to them? Well, the fact was that they had been spending so much time together in the last two years of their lives, that they came to realize, they wouldn’t have liked to be parted from each other. That friendship had given them a new direction and a deep level of insight in their condition and nothing could match that. It was relationships, authentic human contact they were hungry for, that was what really mattered to them. And still, it was difficult to live that kind of authenticity in everyday life, where you had been used to fight tooth and claw to get your own slice of the cake. What could be done, then?
They decided to call upon the star child again. She came by moonlight. On this occasion, they were on the roof terrace of the actor’s house in Beverly Hills; they had had dinner and prayed intensely for about two hours. Down she came, only this time there was no sight of the pink balloon. Instead they saw a ray of light coming down from a cloud covering the full moon.
“You need to start to play again,” was her answer to their perplexed questions.
“You are doing much good to the needy but you are growing sad. Connect to the beauty of nature, wonder at her marvels and stop being anxious. Remember you are here to play the game of life with lightness and joy. You are not alone: we are all connected to each other.”
This time she stayed only the time of a wink, she must have been busy enlightening other people too. They stood gaping at her words: how could they achieve what she said? For a long time they cracked their heads in doubt and despair of ever getting there.
One day, after a long conversation, the actor stood up and went to the door. The postman delivered a small packet to him: it contained a key and a letter. His brother in Nebraska told him about their mother’s last desire, that her famous son would have the key to the small attic that he used to love as a child. He was struck dumb with emotion. He had never thought his mother had guessed his innermost, childish longing. Tears run down his cheeks wetting the letter itself, he could not stop crying. He flew all the way to Nebraska, to the familiar, hated and loved town where he met his brother and family.
However, it was only when he turned the key in the latch of the attic that he felt he had come home again. As the door opened, a grand spectacle presented itself to his eyes: his mother’s old school ball dress, old broken toys and his grandfather’s portrait as a young man, together with an Indian rug, he would use as a tent in his games, a huge basket with old actors’ pictures, all of that and more - now he realized - had played a role in his choices. He was who he was because he had played and dreamt in that attic, and those old bizarre objects had been once his treasures. He laughed and cried, and laughed again as he bowed under the sloping ceiling and blew away the cobwebs.
As he crouched down, the youngest of his nephews, who was only five and had been piping through the keyhole all the while, stepped in tentatively. The actor did not notice at first. When he did, the child was offering him an old pipe and colored feather. He embraced the little one and put the plume on his own head, while playing together. They spent a considerable time playing there completely carried away by the world they had created, with its own magical rules and consequences.
When the time to leave came, the actor gave the key to his nephew with the agreement he could be back any time he wanted. That night, as he lay in his bed staring at the dark, he saw the star way to heaven and the silver-haired child was clapping her hands in sign of joy. He would tell his friend down town, when he went back to their office – he thought before falling asleep.
They would share this great home-coming, but he knew his friend would have to find his own way to get to the door.




LADY CROW

Lady Crow is turning around,
flapping her legs that make her soar
high up the topmost branch
of destiny and luck.
Her black gloves - tight upon her
pianist fingers - reach into the eye lashes
of time
to get a ragged dream out of a hole
and turn it into a glamorous fop.
Lady Crow is singing out aloud
in a mysterious, far -reaching voice:
men can't resist and drown
in the lake of her moonlit melodies.
Lady Crow has come into my nights
while hungering for a place
of unsettling rest.
And there's nothing I can do best
than angling a fairy ring
into the river of my doubt.
She is smiling at me covering her eyes
with a wounded wing.
I wake up as a jet-black feather
is lingering on my bed.