The Negative Zone - a place to dump all your accumulated negativity

[Frank]

A problem has been itching at my soul for some time but I am not sure where to let it out.
So I thought that I would make a discussion here in the Trash for dumping negativity.
A place to bitch about your itches
to itch about your bitches
oops I am being poetic
But I do have a few gripes or bitches and I did want to have a place to dump them
so this is it

Feel free to dump your sh*t here too if you like - a dump for one is a dump for all

[Anne Westlund]

OK, I will use the dump here. One of my friends is just nuts! She's engaged to a total loser who already cheated on her before, he lives in a motel, doesn't have a job, and has been in prison. She's totally nuts in other ways too. She doesn't use the brains God gave her and makes her life decisions by committee. (I'm not on the committee, too pagan) She is a total Jesus Freak too!

Wow, I feel better....

OH, and she calls me every other day, but it's becoming clear to me that we are not close friends. So, why does she call so often? I could go on and on about her. But that's boring.

I'll think about more stuff to dump and get back to you. :) Thanks, Frank!

[Frank]

I have too many people in my life like your friend - I am left wondering why they keep calling.
Now I feel better thank you Anne.

[Lin Neiswender]

Glad your not mad at us for messing with your happy place. I need to dump an Internet friend who tells me all the bad things in her life and the thousand reasons why she can't follow any of my practical solutions for dealing with them. Last night I had a light bulb moment that she likes being stuck so she doesn't have to do anything but complain. I'm her outlet-but getting tired of it...

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Yes Lin. The people who enjoy being stuck are the ones that I have had to dump, too. They really can't ... they just can't.

[Frank]

Lin - this space is not about being mad at someone
It is about getting frustrated and letting it go here
or being hurt and letting the hurt go here
or feeling crazy and letting it go here

The point is
this place is my designated place to dump my crap
I don't want to dump it in novel writers or short story writers
I want to dump it here
I think a lot of us want to dump our blues and we go searching for a place to put it
So I made one - and now I feel better

[Lin Neiswender]

I see- nice to know where to take it!

[Maureen]

I have had two Internet friends like that. No matter what I said, what information I gave to them, what advice or encouragement or experiences I shared with them, nothing made a dent. Finally I just had to stop corresponding, and I felt so guilty, but I have a family here and need to set priorities when it comes to how I spend my time. I just couldn't keep trying to help someone who seemed to want the help, but then kept finding ways to continue being miserable ... hard to explain, but I am sure you know what I am saying since you are going through the same thing!

[Jules]

Dumpty-do-dah...dumpty-day...
The thing is Frank, about your making a space for light and happy and attracting people with negativity...often those people want light and happy (they definately need it) but they are to negative to create their own so they come to siphon yours. The same with the people Anne and Lin have in their life. I know this, because you guys are not alone- I have people in my life like that as well.
I have learned to limit contact...let voice mail pick up when they call if it is 2 hours later...that kind of thing.
I have told one person who whines about the same thing over and over and over again "If you are talking about this more than three times you are not looking for solutions, you are looking for sympathy- and I am fresh out- if you want sympathy you can find it in the dictionary between sh** and syphilis"
You would have thought that would piss her off and shut her up wouldn't ya? It didn't. Two years later, still whining about it. Like Lin and Barb said- some people just seem to like to stay stuck.

That face image reminds me of one at the start of xfiles episodes.

[Ang Monsoon]

This discussion is brilliant. Ha ha I love that sympathy definition, I haven't heard that before, I'm going to adopt that as a pet phrase! No major crap dumps for me to report at the moment, certainly nothing as amusing as you lots...oh mi god... your crap dumps are so funny ...

[debb]

dump it ALL away & don't look back at it....
let the net carry it off ...

good for you to make a place like this for yourself.
It is a brave thing to do.

It is a good idea and we all need a place to discharge the crud, scrape off the mud, dump the trash...

there are always going to be people who can't or won't make a positive attempt and so they drain onto others... over & over & a-over again.
they don't want to take the responsibility for making a change, they want to have someone else make it better for then AND they deny any responsibility for why they are unhappy --- this is NOT our issue -- it is THEIRS
we are not babysitters for other adults - be they friends or family.
DO NOT let them such you down... DO NOT let them in so often if they won't do for themselves.
DO use this a a place to put it out for the sanitation engineers to haul away.