The Dark NIghts and Sunless Days

[Frank]

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These are the places we enter via depression. Being there is no fun and getting out of there a difficult process on ones own.
I have been there there often, sometimes for years. As I get older, I must be getting wiser because I have learned a few secrets or tips on how to get out of, past , or whatever it is that makes the sun come out and the night to end.
The greatest tip I can give is to ask for help - you don't actually have to say help me help me, you just have to find someone to talk to.
I am offering this discussion space for advice people might have or for asking for help.

I think that exploring your creative urges is a good way to combat depression but the trouble is sometimes I don't have enough energy to do that or what results from my dark creative processes is too dark and scary. BUt I find that it is exactly what I needed to do and many times dark creative exercises produce cathartic results.

What are your processes ? What has work for you ? What is your secret way that might help others ? Have you ever produce something special out of some dark time ?

Frank

[Beverly]

I think this is a great discussion topic and definitely relevant to my creative process. When I was growing up, I would shut myself in my room and read a fantasy or romance book. That seemed to help me cope. Other times, I would turn to my paints or drawing. If the images that came out seemed too dark and emotionally scarey, I would choose another creative outlet, like playing the piano as an example. I could be lighter then, pounding on the keys, playing happy music, relieving some of the darker tension I was feeling. Think it's a question of balance and also timing. When I am ready to look at my deeper emotions, I shall. But baby steps. I also know what you mean about energy, not having enough to be creative. I think creativity comes in waves, perhaps the positive creative vibes we can ride on for awhile. I think some of my better creative images have come when I'm feeling strong emotions of any sort. A creative outlet releases them and then the paper in front of me can hold them, transfer them. This is me. I do believe in the healing quality of creativity. Thanks for letting me have a place to talk about this here.

[Lin Neiswender]

I wrote my first breakthrough piece out of a time of great depression. It was the first time I truly felt like a writer in my soul. I had to force my way through it to get the piece written, but when it was done, I knew it would really touch people. And it did. It was cathartic. I say- persevere!

[Camille]

Hi Frank...yes this discussion is so needed...Many people like to say "snap out of it" and "think positively" ...

They may put on rose-colored glasses...the thing is...glasses do get smudged and dirty and sometimes really are "put ons".

Sometimes thinking positively means not being truthful with the self, and snapping out of it is easier said than done

Some say, "act as if"...I don't always believe in that...it can be a misleading motto for those in recovery.

If we don't put our shadows towards the light, we could forever be in the dark. We can learn so much wisdom through suffering through dark periods, by confronting them. Hopefully after taking a serious look at our pain, when we can realize why it is there, and how it no longer serves us, we can let the burdens go, then...It is part of the journey into the light...

The negative or dark side is really not negative at all...They are tools. Dark moods are indicators that changes need to be made. Our shadow side was never meant to be dismissed and denied and yet it is done all the time...so people feel guilty telling their truth and live in falsity by saying and acting like all is well...and no one is able to be truthful not only to themselves but to others...I feel this to be a big alienating factor in our society...

There is a saying...When you laugh the whole world laughs with you, when you cry you cry alone...This I do not believe the way of things can be. We need to be our brothers and sisters keepers and to help others to make their trip through the dark night of the soul, by giving support, listening, being patient, comforting...we need not tsk, tsk, tsk them for being down and out!

Thanks for starting this group, Frank, as our emotional lives are meant to help us see our own truth...and talking about the dark parts of our soul brings them to light, we find freedom throrugh the truth of who we really are!!! What could be more inspiring than to get to know all aspects of ourselves...who does not want or need to be set free???

[Frank]

Camille:
Awesomely put - your words are awesome.
When I was deepest in depression, I desperately wanted someone to talk to, someone who would listen but was shamed into being quiet. didn't want to make others feel uncomfortable - yet when I was able to face my pain I found answers, not just words but experiences that reshaped me into a more complete person.

I found that my depression had actually aided me - through my depression I was able to face the fact that I had numbed my life out and had stopped trying to achieve my dreams.

People like to say "just get over it" and "snap out of it" but in facing the dark stuff especially if you do it creatively - you just might get to the hard of what is really bugging you. I know it worked that way for me but the process of working through depression or the blues is almost never instanaeous. That's why it is good to have friends around - true friends who will support you.

Thank you guys for your support now (even though I am not currently depressed).
Frank

[Lin Neiswender]

We're all in this together is my take on it, so we might as well help each other. Depression is a big hairy monster and it helps to have friends who let you vent about what it's like and how you feel about it, then encourage you in your efforts to overcome it. Friends are priceless.

[Anne Westlund]

For everything else there's MasterCard. I couldn't resist! I love how supportive CCSers are! You can lean on me, Lin.

[Lin Neiswender]

I walked right into that one, didn't I? LOL! Thanks for the lean, Anne. Today I got a wonderful boost- my Pet scan was completely clean! Evidently all the light-ups before were from some unknown benign inflamatory process! I still have the lesion but it is scar tissue now (I think). Hurray!

[Camille]

Friends are priceless,indeed, Lin... in my life, precious few come through...those that do, are never forgotten and deserve many blessings and loving thoughts and gratitude! Love and hugs from Dabs

[Camille]

Thanks Frank!

Isn't it sad how we feel we need to "shame ourselves into being quiet"? At least it seems so in this part of America!

What methods did you use to confront your pain? Journaling, just experiencing it, creativity, or getting a new perspective on the situation some other way? You don't have to share what feels uncomfortable, Frank. I am just always interested in how people maneuver through their dark nights.

Yes, after a long period of dark night, when I felt that absolutely every door and window was closed to me,
I surrendered it all...I said...hey God, the only way I can deal with these impossibilities, is if you are with me.
Soon after this was said...doors began to open up...

Looking back on that time of returning to the light, I see that I had received a whole new and wiser, more joyfilled perspective on life,...it was indeed, a series of life-changing experiences, that followed thinking in terms of free choices, possibilities and alternatives, worked out through action, not just on thoughts and words!

I am glad to read that you are not currently depressed! But if you said you were terribly depressed, well how honest and courageous that would be! Many here at CCS would give wise and sincere words to help you back into the light without it being forced into untruth!

Many hugs to you for sharing your story, Frank! It is certainly appreciated by many Spacers, including MOI! :)

[Frank]

Camille:
My darkest days of GD (great depression) were 30 years ago - I had a lot of friends but no one to talk to at that time - as long as I was with people I was okay but when I was alone thats when the darkness came.
Like you, I surrendered to spirit - to God - and that was when the healing began. Unfortunately I did not why I was depressed - I thought it was my job - at the time I met a wonderful caring woman named Shakti Gawain (author of Creative Visualization). She was a very positive being and I said I want to be like that. So I quit my job and found a new one that I did not like, moved to Texas, still was depressed - moved to Arizona, met some Hopi and Navaho Indians who taught me the ways of their culture, moved to Wyoming, loved it but found I could not afford to live there - so I moved to Florida and that is where the healing really started
In florida, I met a counselor who taught me how to use a breathing technique called "re-birthing." I also learned Reiki and became a master of it there. These healing techniques began to shed some light on the darkness within - I was still depressed but I was confronting what I found inside and making progress. I studied psychology, graduated with a BS and found a lot of answers there. I met a professor who was a master at using Transactional Analysis and found more dark stuff inside (I began to notice that I had learned a lot of dysfunctional behaviors from my parents).

At that time, about six years ago I became aware of a huge piece of darkness - something I will call You are Not Worthy. I decided I was smart enough and strong enough to tackle it alone. I was wrong and my failure to beat this drove me deeper into the dark place then I had ever been but it was then that I again surrendered to Spirit/God and began my latest recovery (and last one).
This time, I surrendered almost completely - like the AA book says I realized that I needed help and that there is no greater help than Spirit/God. Since then many doors have opened for me - CSS being one of them.
I am not totally un-depressed and I never will be until I become my true self. That is the cause of my depression. Right now I feel as if I am as close to being my true self as I have ever been.
Recently, I have decided once again to surrender to Spirit/God - this time completely. And because of that I have been able to do things that I never could before like allowing myself to be myself and not what I think others want me to be.
And every night I repeat my surrender to Spirit - so I don't forget.
That was the Readers Digest version on my path - I know everyone's is different but surrender seems to be the way.

Frank

[Lin Neiswender]

What a remarkable story, Frank. No wonder you make a good healer- you've been through the darkness and survived. I wish you peace as you journey to wholeness.

[Anne Westlund]

Wow. You have been on a journey, Frank. You are moving in a positive direction, that's all that really matters. Thanks for sharing your "trip" with us.