I Want to Make Art, But I Really Need to Procrastinate First...

[DJ]

OK, we don't really come out and say "I'm procrastinating..." but maybe we should. Perhaps if we name it, we can defeat it.
Are you aware of putting off your making/writing/music?
What do you do instead of creating or devoting your time to your process?
What techniques do you use to stop the second dreaded "P" word?

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Oh, here I am with my generalities again ... I usually don't have too much of a problem with the somethings one can have. My struggle is for a way to give something back to the world. I have unrealistic expectations of it being something really big and important and meaningful to a lot of people, life changing, enlightening ... a Purpose For My Life! I feel like it's there, and I don't know what it is, yet. Then I come to my senses and realize it doesn't have to be something huge ... that the little things mean a lot :)

I guess I'm just trying to make the right choices to make the puzzle of my life fit together, without really knowing what the big picture will be. It seems some people have a passion that drives them all their lives, and some don't ever have that, yet their lives are no less important. Acceptance of not making a big contribution is probably what this struggling is about. I know I should let go of it and just take life as it comes, yet the VOG digging is making me look at the big picture and wonder, again. I think this has always been a block for me. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be good. If it isn't gonna be big and good, why bother ...

[DJ]

Yes, I agree, Barb:
the "something" I mentioned was a general choice, whether it be life achievements or the medium in which we create...
As for your search, Ms. Bodacious, only you can find your passion.
This is your gift to the world.
But you already know that...
Whatever you find, that gift will be unique to you, or you will be put in a place where you will be the only one available with that gift. You will be important to those who need it.
(Hint: consulting the Man Upstairs always answers this question for me)

[Jules]

Barb, you said "unrealistic expectations of it being something really big and important and meaningful to a lot of people, life changing, enlightening ... a Purpose For My Life"
I do not think that is an unrealistic expectation unless you put human time restraints on it. I really believe that some people's 'influence' or inspiration will not be felt this generation, but maybe the next, or the one after that.
In other words, expect that by finding your life purpose or calling will be of benifit ot humanity, but do not expect to see it immediately- in fact, you may not get to see it at all- that does not mean it won't happen.
Hum. I hope that made sense

[Valerie]

"It seems some people have a passion that drives them all their lives, and some don't ever have that, yet their lives are no less important."

Barb I feel that way too a lot and had pretty much resigned myself to not ever finding my passion. But through this discussion I think I have discovered I am looking in the wrong place. I'm looking for it in my creativity and as you say doing "big things". If I look back over my life I can clearly see that my passion is my family. Given the choice between creating a masterpiece and caring for my family and those I care about there is no contest. They may not see it as a big thing, but it really is when you think about it. And I am following my heart.

Contributions can't always be measured in making a big difference in the world but it is more often like dropping a pebble in the water and watching the ripples expand if that makes sense.

You make a big contribution here on CCS and touch many lives. I'm sure this is just a small portion of the lives you touch. Probably without even knowing it most of the time. I can remember people over my life that have made comments to me that they probably thought insignificant, but that literally changed my life. They will never know.

Look back over your life at what has made you happy and satisfied and you may find your passion there.

[Lin Neiswender]

In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa

[Frank]

I know this struggle, Barb. I live with it everyday. But in the end I always realize that thinking about something intensely just keeps my heart desire from coming/happening.
I find the real magic comes in doing - getting deep into some sort of creative doing - it can be even be flitting around CCS dropping witty one-liners - if it feels fun to do then it is something your heart wants to do. At least I think so.

[Jules]

"if it feels fun to do then it is something your heart wants to do. At least I think so."

I think so too Frank.

I might add that if what you are doing comes so easily and naturally that you cannot believe someone else must 'learn' how to do it- then it is a thing that is in your heart

[Frank]

Well put Jules.
If your heart is in it, people will notice.

[Valerie]

Francine, you're not alone in the procrastination department. I bought Dans 7 days, but it was right before Christmas and, well, 'nuff said. I will go back and do it again. What little I did get done helped.

I think Barb's idea of doing something totally different is a good one. How about an artist date and buy art supplies that you have never used before, or not in a long time. Or maybe something small like an ATC as Lin suggested.
No pressure, just play. You've been through a rough time and play is good. Valerie

[Patrice]

I read all five pages, finding myself really curious about how others approach blocks to doing. Procrastination is a very complex thing. Our reasons for procrastinating encompass all our frailties and human traits : fear of failure, fear of success, "what ifs", insecurity, guilt (about anything), and just plain feeling unworthy.

At some time or other in my life, I could identify with all of you. Things really changed for me though, when I bit the bullet and quit my day job to make art full time (eleven years ago). I was forced to approach creativity from an altogether new angle: survival. I worked 14 and 16 hour days. I did many projects for the first time because I couldn't say no to paid work. I was afraid - but I was even more afraid of failure by not trying.

But I wasn't really happy. Like most artists, I wanted not just to make a living - but to make a living doing the kinds of art that moved me, personally. I began to have a block about being myself, because I worried that "my style" wouldn't be as lucrative as painting what the public seemed to want: a barn, some water, a road off to the distance - all painted to look like a photograph. For me that is boring, boring, boring.. and lacking in the one thing we all seek to explore: our own creativity.

When the economy tanked a couple years back (yes, I felt it a long time coming) I suddenly had more time on my hands. I wasn't filling up all available hours with commissioned work. I decided to chew on that bullet some more - and paint for myself. No - I don't sell many paintings - but I'm working on that by making more of them and getting them out to those who will appreciate them.

I do still have some difficulty in wanting to be a bit too organized - but in my case, having been disorganized for several years, I need to be disciplined about clutter and stuff all the time rather than in spurts between projects. I can spend hours sorting out odds and ends and filing pictorial references. I can delay a project too, because I think I've not prepared well enough.

Like Barbara, I want to contribute to this world - or at least, to do no harm. What can be better than making things that bring smiles to people every day?

[Valerie]

Patrice, I can relate to most of what you say. I too quit my job and started my own business. And like you I ended up doing what people wanted instead of what I wanted to do, for survival. It became just another job. Thanks for the reminder.

Just today I came to the acceptance that it is not working. When the economy tanked so did my business, like so many others. I finally had to face the fact that I was trying to revive a dead horse. It depressed me all day. But reading some of the posts on CCS today on different discussions I realise this may be a blessing in disguise. It may finally force me to do what I want, for better or worse. It may not satisfy the tax man but it will satisfy me. And I wasn't satisfying the tax man anyway. I'll get there "with a little help from my friends".

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Thanks for all the great responses ... they really do help me feel okay with it all.
Now I'm going to do some inspecting of the insides of my eyelids :)