"The Worst Visitor to Ever Darken My Door"

[Carol Clark]

This is just a freewrite I started, might turn into something, not sure yet. I realize it's a bit on the dark side, but hey, we're writers and I'm expressing myself. ;-)

This came from a prompt in a writing class, the prompt being the title itself. It's not finished, I'd like to continue work on it.

Any comments welcome.
Carol

* * * * *

“The Worst Visitor to Ever Darken My Door”


It was the last time he’d darken my door.

I caught him in the act this time, the son-of-a-bitch. He’d already painted my steps and mailbox black, and was starting on my door with his long, deliberate strokes. I’d been watching TV and sipping on some cocoa when I heard the noise outside.

So when I opened the door and saw Death standing there, I was surprised but not shocked. He’d come to me before through other people, people I loved a lot, who he’d taken from me without warning. Apparently he had no one to steal, he was just on a social call: reminding me he was still looming in the shadows. But I faced him this time.

He was not tall and dark and scary as I thought he’d be, rather he was kind of small and thin. Not who you’d expect Death to be. He wore the necessary black cape and all that, but he wasn’t fooling me. He was just a Joe-Shmoe with a job to do like everybody else.

I surprised him when I asked, “Would you like to come in for some coffee or tea?”

His mouth hung open, and he almost looked like a frightened child. He slowly put down his pail and brush, and stepped into my living room.

”Can I take your cape?” I asked him with a smile, and when he gave it to me I threw it towards the chair but missed. It fell to the floor.

“Have a seat, make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right out.”

As I prepared two cups of hot coffee for us in the kitchen, I thought of what I’d say to Death. All the things that’d been on my mind for years, all the things I wanted to yell at him and knock him senseless for. But after some thought I decided I’d just use my words. I stood a better chance with them.



Carol Clark
January 1, 2009

[Wayne]

I loved this story. I actually don't think it's too dark and it is well written, but I would have loved to read more. Everyone I know think's my writing is dark but I usually turn it into black comedy. But most of the time people don't get the joke. But anyway, it is perfect the way it is and perfect if you add more. It's a win win situation.

Wayne

[Carol Clark]

Thanks for your comments, Wayne. I think dark humor is sometimes the best way I know to handle something big.

I've seen your work posted here, please give me some time to read and make some comments.

Carol

[Valerie]

Carol, I love this story. To me it seems finished.
"I caught him in the act this time, the son-of-a-bitch. He’d already painted my steps and mailbox black, and was starting on my door with his long, deliberate strokes." and I thought of what I’d say to Death. All the things that’d been on my mind for years, all the things I wanted to yell at him and knock him senseless for.
To me both of these statements say what a person feels when confronted by death of a loved one. Leaving it with the last statement gives the reader the chance to fill in his/her own blanks.
Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure it will be perfect.