"The Worst Visitor to Ever Darken My Door"

[Carol Clark]

This is just a freewrite I started, might turn into something, not sure yet. I realize it's a bit on the dark side, but hey, we're writers and I'm expressing myself. ;-)

This came from a prompt in a writing class, the prompt being the title itself. It's not finished, I'd like to continue work on it.

Any comments welcome.
Carol

* * * * *

“The Worst Visitor to Ever Darken My Door”


It was the last time he’d darken my door.

I caught him in the act this time, the son-of-a-bitch. He’d already painted my steps and mailbox black, and was starting on my door with his long, deliberate strokes. I’d been watching TV and sipping on some cocoa when I heard the noise outside.

So when I opened the door and saw Death standing there, I was surprised but not shocked. He’d come to me before through other people, people I loved a lot, who he’d taken from me without warning. Apparently he had no one to steal, he was just on a social call: reminding me he was still looming in the shadows. But I faced him this time.

He was not tall and dark and scary as I thought he’d be, rather he was kind of small and thin. Not who you’d expect Death to be. He wore the necessary black cape and all that, but he wasn’t fooling me. He was just a Joe-Shmoe with a job to do like everybody else.

I surprised him when I asked, “Would you like to come in for some coffee or tea?”

His mouth hung open, and he almost looked like a frightened child. He slowly put down his pail and brush, and stepped into my living room.

”Can I take your cape?” I asked him with a smile, and when he gave it to me I threw it towards the chair but missed. It fell to the floor.

“Have a seat, make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right out.”

As I prepared two cups of hot coffee for us in the kitchen, I thought of what I’d say to Death. All the things that’d been on my mind for years, all the things I wanted to yell at him and knock him senseless for. But after some thought I decided I’d just use my words. I stood a better chance with them.



Carol Clark
January 1, 2009

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Love the pun on the title with the black paint :) I think it stands on its own, as it is, Carol. Words are powerful stuff, all right!

[Mary Hicks]

Carol, I love it. There's so much imagery, so much emotion! Outstanding.

[Carol Clark]

Thanks, Barb and Mary. :-)

My husband thinks it's not finished, he wants to read what I have to say to Death.
But I think I'll move onto a happier story for now...!
Carol

[Dan Goodwin]

I think it's great Carol, very philosophical, and with a strong message. It's quite short but written well so it's very thought provoking.

"As I prepared two cups of hot coffee for us in the kitchen, I thought of what I’d say to Death. All the things that’d been on my mind for years, all the things I wanted to yell at him and knock him senseless for..."

- just a really inventive way of tackling one of the biggest subjects in life in a different way. I think if you added more it's become something different, I like it as it is, with questions unanswered and left to the reader to ponder...

[Carol Clark]

Thanks so much Dan. It's nice to get feedback on your work, especially if it's good feedback! ;-)

You're the second person to say it seems like a finished piece... I believe in listening to my readers!
Carol

[Camille]

Carol, BRAVO! Really caught my attention from the title all the way through to the last sentence! I would love to read a sequel with you kaffee-klatsch with Death...Your perspective on death seems to be very unique.

A very spiritually enlightened person always tells me to talk to my Death to get some answers about how to grow emotionally and spiritually....but I have not put my imagination to use on this subject, as it is a daring one for me at this moment in time....but you have inspired me with your story! Love Dabs

[Carol Clark]

Thanks so much for the kind words, Camille. I'm so glad it inspired you!
Carol

[Camille]

A pleasure, Carol!

[Anne Westlund]

Really good, Carol! I think this is a very powerful story, either on its own or if you were to write more. I love it that Death is busy painting everything black. Which is what he usually does, one way or the other.

Anne

[Carol Clark]

Thanks Anne, for reading and commenting. I might just leave this as a standalone.

Carol

[Frank]

I am wondering if Death would like cream and sugar and if so one lump or two. I love this start, you could go so many ways with it - what tone are you thinking of taking ? Serious, silly, farce, drama, romance ? These are just a few things that come to my crazy mind.
Very good - I love it.

[Carol Clark]

Thanks Frank, I appreciate your reading and thoughts on this. I don't know where I'm going to go with it. If I continue it, I'll probably stay on the humorous but dark side.

Carol