VOG ..A journey back to self...

[Francine]

I'm going to start puttting progress notes here. Morning pages have been going on for a couple of days, I went to a local antiques shop as my mini date/ daily walk. I am still recovering from my back injury of a year ago, and walking in -15C weather is NOT my friend, so, given that its about "gathering images" I blended the 2.. a vigourous walk around the shop's interior, and then a slow meander through the aisles and digging into corners where something caught my eye.
Wonderful to be able to allow myself to take the time, especially with all that has been going on. Since sometimes walking can be an issue, I am not sure what I might be able to substitute for that. If the point it to create a rhythmic cadance to allow the brain to disconnect, then maybe spinning would be ok. With its double treadle action, it mimics the action of walking without any stress on my back. Have to think about that one;)
Good luck to all of us.. and thank you to all for the mutual support

[Lin Neiswender]

I may have to find alternatives to walking too Francine. I have lung disease so vigorous walking is pretty much out of the question. My book has not arrived yet so I will have to see what I might substitute.

[Francine]

sounds like there have to be some different choices..I understand and appreciate why its something that's to be done, I'm just not sure how i can possibly do something that is physically so much of a problem. I hope we both find alternatives to what we are physically challenged with... tis frustrating when there doesn't seem to be any suggestions given..guess that's where our creativity has to come in.

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

The purpose of the walking is not physical exertion ... more of an opportunity to notice things in the environment, and this can be done indoors also, at your own pace. The book recommends daily walks of twenty minutes, and for an hour one once a week, but if it's physically impossible to walk for that long, no problem. Also once a week on the regular walks it's recommended to do so prayerfully, with gratitude.

I'm thinking that (in better weather) going to a park or wherever you feel comfortable, and meandering at whatever speed you are comfortable with, would be just fine ... letting images come and go ...

[Lin Neiswender]

Thanks Barb. There is a beautiful flower garden park, Leu Gardens, not too far from here. Perhaps I can go there once a week. Or there is the little vest-pocket park around the corner. Failing that there is always my back yard I could peruse with my camera!

[Christie]

Hi, Francine,

Sitting in a park seems like a reasonable activity to substitute for walks. Or people watching at a mall, airport, etc. I also think your idea of spinning instead is a good one. Sometimes we have to experiment, as creatives.

[Francine]

Thanks for the support.. I think if need be, that if there is supposed to be "rhythmic activity".. which i know has worked for me in the past to "disconnect" from my brain... that if i need to be in a place with images flashing by..then I'll take my drop spindle which tends to be very rhythmic and sit somewhere like a mall.. and let things flash by as I spin and watch...

[Lin Neiswender]

That sounds like a winner Francine. And that's a connection to an age-old craft as well.

[Francine]

an update..
Well...my first day back at work has made morning pages challenging.. as my day starts typically, on a work day.. at 530 am.. i think, since "morning pages" are a dump anyway, and since i'm better writing stream on consciousness stuff at night to get me to sleep..I'm going to do morning pages as "night pages" same rules apply, but that way i won't be obsessing at night and keeping myself awake...

[Christie]

I believe in using whatever method works for you. And experimenting until you find, and fine-tune, whatever does!

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Hope work is going well ... are you finding you're able to keep up with night pages, Francine?

[Francine]

Well.. Tis been a week, already!! With all the snow, and computer system change over at work, and us being unusually busy for this time of year, its been a challenge to stay focused on all this.
I am finding that "morning pages" / "night pages" are difficult to find time for at a set time. I understand the premise of finding and keeping a "date" with yourself to do these, but Its not going well. I am a person who has always been a 'stream of consciousness journaler" from wwwwaaaaayyyyyyy back... I have journals that go back 20 or more years, and its always been "write when the need strikes and the push is there"... so forcing myself to write at a "given time" is a challenge. That being said, I've been doing them as "lunch pages".. when I have lunch, and that's working ok. Still get the full pages done, and the whole 'letting go" is working. Its been very cold here, so the walks haven't happened yet, although my b/f and I are going out tomorrow, so even though its not alone time, its at least walking.
No, for me now, what I'm finding a challenge, is the First Kingdom. I am having a hard time even reading through the chapter, much less actually get to creating the stories. I'm not even sure why there's so much resistance. I've looked at old pictures, but even that isn't triggering any memories. I'm not sure why. Its almost as though all the time prior to about 10 years of age, is gone, and from 10 to 18 is very sketchy. I'm not sure why there's not much or any memory there, its a little scary to be honest... I'm not sure what is hidden in all that.

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

I realized the same thing, Francine. I have some vivid childhood memories (and they're usually the painful or extremely joyful ones) but when it comes to mid life there's a lot of fuzzy blurry stuff ... It will be a challenge to try and put things into chronological order ... but I really want to do it in order to see the patterns and find my gold :) Just writing down statements at first will help, then figuring out about what age I was at the time ... I sure wish I had 20 years worth of journaling to refer back to. I wrote sporadically, usually when I was upset about something, but not on a regular basis until I started MPs at the start of 2007. None of us really know what lies hidden in all that unless we have done this before, and it's all new to me.