The MORNING PAGES Police Station

[Frank]

WARNING - non-serious discussion here ********

Hello I am Sgt. Frank of the Pages police, here to set you people straight on what is proper pages writing conduct and what is not.

A Crayz Person writes "Is it okay to write pages with your left hand ?"
Yes, CP, it is okay to use your left hand, right hand, feet and or teeth. The book of JC does not tell us what to do for sure but I am certain these are okay methods. I am also quite sure that hiring someone to them for you violates the intent of pages unless of course you dictate the pages to the other person - I myself am willing to write dictated pages for a small fee of 100usd per page. payable in advance.

Mr. E writes "is it okay to do less than three pages"
Dear Mr. E. - That is heresy. You must do three handwritten 81/2 by 11 inch pages per day - so says the books of JC - if you choose to ignore this and DO THINGS YOUR WAY, you run the risk that JC fundamentalists will not recognize you as being a true JC follower
(you will have the stigma of Doesn't do Pages" and they will laugh at you and call you rude names and not let you play in reindeer games - this happened to a fellow named Rudolph)

Mr. E. writes again "is it okay to do more than 3 pages?'
Dear Mr. E - are you crazy? no one wants to do more work than they have to.

WildWoman writes: I am an Artist, so is it okay if I use a brush to write my pages ?
Dear WildWoman: Use of anything other than a pen or pencil is allowed as is use of other mediums beside graphite, and ink. If you want to write your pages in blood, I suggest you write big and fast.

SamIam writes: "Can I put pictures in my pages?
Dear SamIam: - No, sam it is not alright because it sounds like you are trying to make your pages pretty, or to drive home a point or heaven forbid, you are trying to make some sense out of your pages. Putting pictures in your pages puts you on a slippery slope of designing your pages and pretty soon your pages become a blog and after that your blog becomes popular, you become a success, world famous and rich - Do you really want to go down that road ?

Well, that is all for today from the Pages Police Station - please give us your questions and we will set you straight.

[Hannah]

Frank, thanks for this. It's hysterical. Which means true.

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

I'd thank Sgt. Frank
(for the insights, you know)
But my MPs stank
So I'm laying low ...

Thanks anyway for the laughs this morning!

[Dan Goodwin]

Sgt Frank, do you have to start at the beginning of a new journal? Or can you start in the middle pages and work outwards?

[Frank]

Good question - the book of JC says nothing about this so I will use my own sense (beware) here
What is an end - what is a start - Einstein said it is all relative and since he is smarter than me, I will say YES unless you are Hebrew, Chinese or such who write from back to front normally then it is relative in a backward sense.
(If you understand this, I will worry about you)

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Now how did you know my MPs started off with the Theory of Relativity this morning, Sgt. Frank? ... you must be an undercover cop ... can't be synchronicity, cuz that never happens here at CCS, ever! :-P

[Frank]

We have our ways and if I tell you what they are I will have to . . . get new secret ways.

[Jules]

I thought you could only start in the middle if it was Wednesday

[Frank]

Dear Jules:
only if you live in Indiana (USA) or BizzaroWorld. Don't ask me why.

[Jules]

Ah. I do happen to live in Indiana- so that would explain why I thought that. Thank you Sgt. Frank for clearing things up for me!

[Jules]

Sgt Frank...What time zone and I supposed to use for the morning pages?

[Frank]

Dear Jules
GreenWitch Mean time, is the accepted standard but for you who are chronologically challenged, I suggest AnyWitchWay Time which means it is morning somewhere so just stop making excuses and start writing for JC's sake. Unless of course you live in some far off land which only existed a long,long time ago - as in Long, long time ago in some far off land, there were no morning pages and the people were sad - what can I B**ch about ? they cried. The great JC heard their cries and created Morning Pages. (Little known origin of MPs)

[Julia]

Frank, I only just found this, and you really crack me up! - that means laughs hysterically on the inside in the land down under, where the kangaroos of course jump wildly through all our major city streets.

Sgt Frank, I seriously suggest you should come down under post haste, and control this traffic hazard as expediently as is possible!!! grin!

I will miss you all while I'm on hols..".No roos on the cruise- now ain't THAT good news!"