How To Deal With Rejection

[WildCherry]

Perhaps the toughest thing of all about entering our work into shows and competitions or even just sharing it with people who's reaction we can't guarantee, is learning to deal with rejection. But if we are going to step outside our safe circle of friendly supporters and send our creations out into the world at large, then we have to learn do it.

How hard it is to put so much time into the process of preparing, submitting and showing our work only to find that the world either doesn't notice it or doesn't seem to like it very much. How can we then find the energy and enthusiasm for getting on with our next creative act and not allow 'not winning' to equivalate with 'failure' or to impact on our creative confidence?

We need to remember to celebrate the small achievements as well as the big ones! What ways can we use to remind ourselves that the most important thing is that we entered that competition or showed our work and remember to pat ourselves on the back for that?

What are your ideas, tricks and experiences that have helped you learn to make the most of these situations?

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

I'd love to be in your class, too, DJ! I'm really learning a lot about what creativity truly is here at CCS ... I've been one of those people who would hesitate to buy something if it didn't have the right colors for my living room / bathroom, whatever. Color speaks to all of us, and for a while when I had lots of extra cash to spend, I was such a color junkie, I'd buy totally useless things just because I was mindlessly wanting that color and buying something made me feel better for a little while.

Being in the craft show circuit with my bead work, I also heard a lot of those mindless comments from the general public ... and even though what I was doing was more of a craft than art, it doesn't feel very good to hear them say something like, "Oh, I love those bead thingys ... they're a lot cheaper at Wal Mart, let's go there and do our Christmas shopping now" ... People just seem to have no clue what harm they do with their casual derogatory comments. Thankfully, there were also very many who took the time to look closely at the jewelry and comment after engaging their eyes and their brains :)

[DJ]

I would be HONORED to have you & WildCherry in my class, Barb. No doubt, you could both teach ME a lot! I fear I would learn more from the two of you than the reverse! LOL!
Yes, we live in an "instant gratification due to mass production" culture these days, so handmade objects aren't valued appropriately. Sadly, most people don't "engage their eyes and their brains." So, when we encounter those who do, we want to invite them to lunch! or take them home with us! or take classes with them! LOL!

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

July 4, 2008
A Bridge To Acceptance
Dealing With Disappointment
Whenever we do something in life with an expectation of how we’d like it to turn out, we risk experiencing disappointment. When things don’t go the way we had envisioned, we may feel a range of emotions from slightly let down to depressed or even angry. We might direct our feelings inward toward ourselves, or outward toward other people or the universe in general. Whether we feel disappointed by ourselves, a friend, or life in general, disappointment is always a tough feeling to experience. Still, it is a natural part of life, and there are many ways of dealing with it when we find ourselves in its presence.

As with any feeling, disappointment has come to us for a reason, and we don’t need to fear acknowledging it or feeling it. The more we are able to accept how we are feeling and process it, the sooner we will move into new emotional territory. As we sit down to allow ourselves to feel our disappointment, we might want to write about the experience of being disappointed—the situation that preceded it, what we were hoping would happen, and what did happen. The gift of disappointment is its ability to bring us into alignment with reality so that we don’t get stuck for too long in the realm of how things might have been.

As we consider other disappointments in our life and how we have moved past them, we may even see that in some cases what happened was actually better in the long run than what we had wanted to happen. Disappointment often leaves us feeling deflated with its message that things don’t always turn out the way we want. The beauty of disappointment, though, is that it provides us a bridge to its other side where the acceptance of reality, wisdom, and the energy to begin again can be found.

[WildCherry]

Wise words indeed, Barb:-)

[WildCherry]

As I'm gearing up for my exhibition/show in October, I am beginning to worry about how I will cope with it. Although you might not guess it, I'm pretty shy about showing my work so when that first night comes I'm going to want to crawl under something dark and damp! You might wonder why I'm showing at all if I dislike it so much but (a) its a phobia I want to get over and the quickest way of getting over it is doing it, right? and (b) its such a tremendous motivation. I would never have worked so consistently if I hadn't had this target looming...

So, there's no getting away from it, I'm going to show. I need my checklist of wise words from my mates gathered so far on this thread...and I need to get myself in the right frame of mind...which is?...That I'm going to enjoy it!...I expect lots of simultaneous hand-holding and butt-kicking from you guys...

[WildCherry]

Check out this interesting blog post on the Paradox of Rejection at Accidental Creative.