How To Deal With Rejection

[WildCherry]

Perhaps the toughest thing of all about entering our work into shows and competitions or even just sharing it with people who's reaction we can't guarantee, is learning to deal with rejection. But if we are going to step outside our safe circle of friendly supporters and send our creations out into the world at large, then we have to learn do it.

How hard it is to put so much time into the process of preparing, submitting and showing our work only to find that the world either doesn't notice it or doesn't seem to like it very much. How can we then find the energy and enthusiasm for getting on with our next creative act and not allow 'not winning' to equivalate with 'failure' or to impact on our creative confidence?

We need to remember to celebrate the small achievements as well as the big ones! What ways can we use to remind ourselves that the most important thing is that we entered that competition or showed our work and remember to pat ourselves on the back for that?

What are your ideas, tricks and experiences that have helped you learn to make the most of these situations?

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Well, I have not had much experience with this in art, although I have entered a few juried shows with beadwork. I know from others experiences though that it can be very hard to take and deflating if we let it be. I guess I would just try and look at it the same way as with other experiences of rejection in life ... let your self grieve, and then remember and keep reminding your self that there will be more opportunity around the next corner. Sometimes when we don't get what we want, it's because we have to leave room for something better!

I was checking out Julia Cameron's books on Amazon last night, and there is one called Finding Water. In looking at the reviews, it seems to be focused on endurance and perserverence in creating art, so I'm thinking it probably has creative ideas to deal with this subject.

[WildCherry]

That sounds a fascinating book, I haven't heard of it. Are you thinking of getting it? Must put it on my Amazon wishlist!

I think its the same whatever medium we are using, Barb!

Thanks for pointing out about the grieving thing. I hadn't thought about it...I've tended to suffer a lot of fallout from exhibiting or entering competitions in the past...even when I am relatively successful I still seem to go into block straight afterwards!

I've begun to realise that even if I had a show and sold every piece on the first night I would probably start worrying that I couldn't live up to the precedent I'd set for myself! So my new approach is try to think of my creations as my children: Once they've matured and I've sent them off into the world, they have to follow their own course. Maybe they'll be loved or maybe they'll be rejected; I can no longer affect the outcome but I'll always be glad to see them if they return home!

I think its probably also a good idea to give ourselves a reward for entering regardless of the outcome...and maybe even a reward for having the courage to open the mail when the result comes, whatever it is!

[Anne Westlund]

Barb is right about the grieving. There are 5 stages of grief. I'm sure we all go through all of them when we get a rejection letter, or aren't really notified, except to be notified who the winners are. Let me see: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. We go through these stages for a lot of different situations. When our expectations are crushed.

Anne

[WildCherry]

That's fascinating, Anne. What does the bargaining entail?

[DJ]

Speaking from experience, LOL!...after having my work rejected several times by jurors over the years, my grieving process has condensed to a day or two. So, with experience comes a tough skin.
I'm usually deflated, but I process it quickly into "Can I learn from this experience?" I also go to the art show opening, so I can see what the juror DID accept, and this gives me clues as to whether I should really be upset or not. :-) If I see a "trend" of a certain style or subject, I know the juror might have been biased. If there is a variety of subject, style, and medium, I look carefully for the level at which the artists were working.
In the last show I was rejected from ( I was discussing entering it w/Dan and Jules here somewhere) I saw a work that was simply an ink line brushed around a small sheet of paper. My husband said, "If your work didn't get in, what's THAT doing in here?" I just hugged him gratefully, and said that I didn't know... :-)

[WildCherry]

I really like that approach of "Can I learn from this experience?"! Its very interesting what you are saying here, DJ, because its clear that as creatives we have to work quite hard at working out a marketing strategy for our work and that includes, as you say, going to the opening of a show or reading the winning entries of a literary competition or likewise looking at what kind of work galleries exhibit or publishers publish before approaching them. No juror in the world can be unbiased. We all have our preferences.

The last show that I entered, I managed to slip into the flip-folder but not onto the wall and when I went to see the show, I could see that the standard of work on the wall was pretty high but also there was a clear bias towards monochrome/dark pieces of work so my bright collage didn't fit in with that at all. Next time, I'll enter one of my more sombre pieces;-)

[DJ]

WildC, I know what you mean about biases.
There was one show from which I was actually GLAD to be rejected... :-) All the pieces had ornate frames and coordinated double-mats, which surrounded household-worthy bathroom/living room art you'd see in Wal-Mart. I had a difficult time visiting that gallery showing...

[WildCherry]

At least you left feeling smug, DJ ;-)

[DJ]

I may have been too shocked to be smug at that moment-LOL!
But it is interesting to see what makes people think "now, that's art."
The comments I overhear from people viewing art never cease to amaze me. " I coulda done that..."
"What's that s'posed to be?" " I wouldn't hang that in MY living room..."
I try to teach my students that there are many reasons for art-making, and that most artists are NOT thinking about YOUR living room! ~ LOL!

[WildCherry]

Yes, the living room sydrome is definitely a hard one to get over, DJ! I've been doing a printing class at the local adult ed just to get access to the facilities and everyone else there is in the room next door churning our copies of living room paintings from catalogues. This weekend the town hall has organised a show of the student's work and of course, that includes me. My stuff is just going to look seriously out of place with all that wallmart art! But most people who come to look at it will think that the wallmart stuff is fantastic especially as no-one will tell them that its a direct copy of someone else's work without as much of a grain of interpretation added...Ah, well, these things are sent to try us!

[DJ]

Oh, WildC, I'm so sorry!
I hate to hear about the contrast between your creativity and other people's flagrant plagiarism...They'll be so slick, yet so WRONG!
Makes me sick to my stomach!
I can relate because of what my students used to have to endure in high school competitions. Others had projected and traced and painted!!!!
Which I don't let my kids do...I finally started holding our own competitions, and my babies are learning that imperfections are theirs and quite lovely. They know what it is to make art from your hands & heart, and they understand creativity. After our annual show, someone said that my students' work could rival that of the local college. Whee.
Stick to your originals, my friend! You're the real winner, and those who know the difference will see it, also.
We at CCS know & love you...
{{{{HUGS}}}}
DJ

[WildCherry]

Thanks, DJ;-) I'd love to be in your class!