The real you is right there waiting...

[Dan Goodwin]

I came across this quote I'd written in an old journal:

"Our only job is to see past our own limitations so that we can return to that which we already are..."

I don't know the author but I do know it resonated deeply with me then, and it does even more so now.

I strongly believe that we all know, deep inside, exactly what our greatest talents are, what makes us happy, what brings us meaning, what makes us feel most alive.

It's an inscription on our very core that we could never remove if we wanted to. But we can, and unfortunately we do, ignore this inscription.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you believe we're all learning brand new things as we go through life, or really we're just coming back home to the real, true self that's been waiting patiently inside all along?

What makes YOU feel happy, alive, at peace? What moments have you had where you've felt "this is what life is about, this is the real, authentic me..."?

What stops you getting in touch with this core part of you more often?

Share your thoughts with us below...

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Interesting topic ... I'll be back later with some of my thoughts ... thanks :)

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Hi Dan,
I agree with these thoughts of already having what we seem to be searching for, and I feel that many are going within to find their authentic selves. I know this has happened for centuries ... it probably just seems more real to me recently since I've been guided to find like minded people in online groups. I think we also go through periods of changing interests and at times we keep thinking with our brains that we "should" be continuing to strive for something that our heart is no longer interested in as most important. New things come along to replace the old and we grow in a different direction. At first it is hard to accept the changes and allow ourselves to flow in a different direction, or may feel we have lost our direction entirely when the old one no longer satisfies. It feels chaotic and uncomfortable for a while. Then suddenly things start to fall into place and synchronistic things happen to put us where we need to be ... sort of like you with starting out learning to salsa and now being an instructor ... two years ago you wouldn't have thought that was what you would be doing today, right? In my life, synchronicity has led to ending a longtime marriage and experiencing much that I don't believe I would have if I had remained in that relationship, and finding my authentic self as I go. I know many people have life long relationships and that is a wonderful thing when it happens. For me, the ending of relationship, though it has felt chaotic and uncertain at times, I feel has allowed the rediscovering of the authentic "me". And, surprisingly, a better friendship relationship with my former husband, who just the other day told me that he thinks I'm intelligent!
(Certainly not the impression he gave when we were together :)

[Dan Goodwin]

I know what you mean about the changes and new things coming along to replace the old Barb. I think it's important to have goals for our lives, but we need some flexibility in there for things that come along that are unexpected, both good and not so good. Yes for me the salsa teaching is a great example, you're right, just over two and a half years ago I didn't know a step, now I teach and it's a big part of my social life.

What I think are consistent in our lives, are threads and themes that run through. A coach friend of mine always refers to these as the golden threads. For example for me a golden thread is teaching. When I was at university I wanted to go on to train to be a primary school teacher (ages 8-11). This shifted and other things came along. Now, couple (ish) of years later that teaching thread has reincarnated itself through the salsa, amongst other things. Of course coaching is a kind of teaching too, teaching people how to teach themselves almost.

We can't bury or lose our threads, they are always there waiting to be followed, we just have to listen and trust that we know what we really want. Because we do know, deep down, we've always known and we always will...

[Heidi]

It takes a strong person to see that golden thread early on in life and follow it. I envy such people with goals, determination, and confidence to know where they are going. People who are in touch with a strong, inner core/compass.
For me it took some detours into relationships/jobs/housing situations that were definitely NOT right for me, to make it clear to me what I should be doing instead. I simply didn´t have a clue before that, just bumping my way through life. Those days were helpful lessons, in hindsight! Not fun while it lasted but now I know what to steer clear of, at least.

[Dan Goodwin]

Inner compass is a brilliant way of putting it I think Heidi.

I think there are few people who know from teenage years or even younger what their purpose or calling is and pursue it wholeheartedly. Like you say there are different areas of life too, you might feel in a great relationship but a job that you hate, for example. All pieces of the puzzle.

Knowing what to avoid or what you dislike is absolutely crucial. Some of us find it very difficult to imagine exactly what we do want. But most can conjure up images of what they would find unbearable. Imagining the exact opposite of this gets you a long way towards what's right for you.

In some ways I feel I know very clearly what I like/ love/ want/ need. But I've still got quite a few of my pieces to find!

[Hannah]

I wouldn't envy them Heidi -- I have found that too many people with that sort of determination just have blinders on and are actually afraid of failure.

[Hannah]

I was going to write on my blog but this question seems very appropriate to my distress. Yesterday I volunteered at this terrific grass roots arts organization and every conversation got humiliating as they expected me to be able to contribute the great skills I must have, being 20 years older than everyone else there, and I had to explain I was actually there to learn from them!

[Hannah]

And, has there ever been a 50 year old new artist on the charts, on television, in concert, or in a play? I've never really heard of one even in writing or visual art. Of course eventually everything changes, only I'm always too far ahead to take advantage of it. Nowadays people change careers and even professionals are encouraged to go back to school. This never used to happen. Some day it will be commonplace.

Yet artists are supposedly unconventional and innovative by definition, so this really shouldn't bother me. But social conventions always have, and while people bite at the bit to break them and their oppression, breaking them is also very painful. And what's really distressing is how conventional artists really are. I think a lot of times it's the so-called "conventional" people that really break the market on new work or innovation. People established and dominant in an industry or tradition, even if they happen to be artists, aren't usually very open minded.

[Ang Monsoon]

Don't be discouraged Hannah! And here's a bit of food for thought, Mary Wesley (the novelist - and I've read her novels and enjoyed them) published her first novel at the age of 70 and went on to write a further nine novels. I've read about this in "Wild Mary" by Patrick Marnham. "All her life she had tried to teach herself to be a writer. Despire many failures she had never given up." There you are, she was 20 years older than yourself!!

[Hannah]

Okay there's one. And I never heard of her. But, I just looked her up and man! Now that's a career! So interesting that she had problems with her family also. Wow, this woman may become my new fairy godmother or role model or something. Thanks for bringing her to my attention! I read the Wiki article and also the one on late bloomers. It can happen!!

Not very encouraging, but there's always a first person who breaks a barrier, and I just seem to be have been born to be a pioneer. I wouldn't have it any other way. Fortunately I live in a city where I can always keep trying.

[RobynG]

Hannah there are many people who have started to create art in later life and become front page news. Just one example who comes to mind is Richard Swenson who only started making sculpture upon retirement. Read his story here >>>
http://www.2theadvocate.com/entertainment/arts/18173939.html

[Susan Hosken]

Robyn, Nice to see you here. SOmetimes I love to think about when I am old and seeing where my creative journey has taken me. Meeting you online and your wonderful blog is one of the highlights.
Lots of love from susan in australia