Comparing

[Susan Hosken]

I have a dreadful habit of comparing myself to other people. It doesn't bring me anything other than grief in most situations. Do any of you compare yourself to others? How do you get over it?
Lots of love from susan in australia

[Susan Hosken]

Fiona, Thanks so much for your reply. I love the way you say "I'm right where I should be". I will think about that on my walk to the beach. Great to have your company here on CCS. I find you very inspiring.
Lots of love from susan in australia

[Susan Hosken]

Ben, I like this idea of being inspired by other people rather than comparing. Thanks for the tip.
Lots of love from Susan in Australia

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Hi Susan,
I agree with what Fiona wrote. It's easy to fall into a trap of thinking you are not as worthy as someone else, but it just is not true. Each of us has something special to contribute and help make things better for everyone. There are many who are physically challenged, mentally challenged, or challenged in some other way ... and those who feel that they are somehow better than anyone else ... well that's their problem to deal with :)

[Susan Hosken]

Barbara, Thanks for your comments. I am getting some great tips to follow.
Lots of love from Susan in Australia

[jane]

i too have spent a large part of my life thinking i was not as good, or as worth knowing, as practically everyone around me. I have wasted a lot of my life worrying about things like that. Its pointless! Through self help books and the love and support of someone close to me i ave learnt that i am "as good as" "even better than" others around me.. and gradually i learnt to feel more comfortable with who i am!

This has taken a dive over the last couple of years.... so its not necessarily a one-way track.. but its good to review and find the road again... its what i am attempting to do at the present time....

Good luck susan - you are fab! You have started so many awesome discussions on CCS and been so supportive of EVERYONE... stop comparing yourself with anyone else... we wouldnt have you another way .. jane xxx

[Susan Hosken]

Jane, How kind of you. I definitely never compare myself to friends here at CCS. Isn't that strange. I always feel so valued for my individuality and I value everyone elses differences as well. I need to carry this into my daily life. I am always so inspired here. Thanks Jane.
Lots of love from Susan in Australia

[Dan Goodwin]

Susan, great topic for discussion, thanks for posting this.

I think when we compare ourselves to others we prevent ourselves from becoming who we're fully capable of becoming. Inside each of us is such immense potential, and we can only start to see that blossom once we accept ourselves and appreciate ourselves.

Something that helps me with this is to hear about great actors or singers, and how nervous they still get, how insecure they can be. I saw Meryl Streep being interviewed recently, who's one of my favourite actors, and she was saying how she still thinks she's not much good, and can't watch herself back on screen...

There comes a point when you have to trust others too. If you create something, put it out in the world and just one person tells you it's inspired them or enriched their life somehow, that's a big gift you've given them, and a big gift they've given you in return. Even if sometimes you can't see the value in your work (and you) yourself, listen to the people around you who tell you you're valued and that you make their lives better. Give their views respect and credibility.

[jane]

i agree totally... you can never please or reach or be, everyone.... as dan says... one person can be all it takes and you've done a great job! xx

[Heidi]

I aggree, comparing is an easy trap to fall into, but there are many things you can do to stop it. Comparing down, definitely. Giving yourself credit for your small victories and all the times you managed to turn a bad thing around. Realizing that life isn´t a competition, that you don´t need to prove anything, is such a relief! It is a good buffer against criticism, too - "So you don´t like me/my work? I appreciate your input, have a nice day!"

[Susan Hosken]

Heidi,
It's nice to remember that life isn't a competition and I don't have to prove anything. Thanks for your input.
Lots of love from Susan in Australia

[Dan Goodwin]

A friend of mine said today: "I just want to be with people who like me as I am, you know?". It's the most profound thing I've heard all week, and I told her she was brilliant.

[Susan Hosken]

Dan, That's why I like CCS because friends here like me for who I am.
Lots of love from susan in australia