Me and My Inner Critic...

[Dan Goodwin]

We all have negative voices in our heads sometimes, telling us we're useless or a failure or can't do something...

So what are your positive experiences in dealing with your inner critic? What techniques do you have for keeping those negative thoughts in check?

What do you call yours? And what does it look and sound like?

Let's get our inner critics out of shadows and into the light!

[WildCherry]

Had a lovely vision of the bus driver herding all the critics onto a big double decker and driving them off into oblivion!

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Well I was thinking about this today, and I feel it's related to the inner critic/negative self talk.

It seems to me that many older people have the feeling that what they have to say is insignificant, and consequently, don't feel much motivation to express themselves creatively. As I get older, I find that this is a fairly common feeling among many people of fifty plus. Especially for those who may not have had much experience with a supportive creative environment.

There are many of my age group who just "don't get" the music or the bodily decorations that the young are fond of, or the graffiti art ... there seems to be a tendency to forget that they too were creatively expressing individuality in their own way, in their youth. Many just gave up that individual creativity somewhere along the way, in order to fit in with society and make a living, putting off their creativity for later, and concentrating on other "more important" things ...

Does this ring any bells with you?

[Detta]

absolutely Barb, you know when people lose passion for life, the critics have a field day and I think this is where many people become judgemental and critical, either based out of fear deep down and their own perceived shortcomings - perfection, not good enough and all that, or because they just don't like themselves very much and project that on to others. I practice seeing the fearful child in balloon bursters as I call them, it doesn't always work and sometimes I just want to tell them where to get off, then....I remember I am a creativity coach and see if I can turn their thinking around, first I let them be right...no arguments after that! Here is a picture I got off the net - it makes me laugh I call it my grotty gremlin x detta - heck we're all humans trying to figure out what we are here for - we're allowed crabby days as well as divine ones! x Detta

[Lin Neiswender]

Some people have never learned the joy that comes from creating, Barb. They never had the time or the opportunity perhaps. I wish there were more programs in the community to teach people how to do this, especially the elderly. They would blossom!

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Well, I think most people have the urge to create ... it just never gets past the thinking stage, and then they get bitter when someone else does what they desire to do ... then they become the worst critics ever ... it's a negative mindset, all the way round, and sometimes hard to deal with. But I will try and keep in mind what Detta said ... just let them be "right" ... and keep on truckin'

[Jules]

I also know some people who are very creative but do not think so because they associate 'creative' with 'art'- as in drawing or painting. One guy I know does some very creative cooking, yet claims to not be creative. Another girl has a beautifully laid out and planned garden, yet she says she is not creative. Another girl always has the perfect broach, scarf or accent to set off any outfit, yet she says she is not creative...and on and on.
It is sometimes simply a matter of the defining 'creative'

[Dan Goodwin]

I know a woman who's a very stylish and chic dresser. She just seems to instinctively know what works well together and what suits her, even though sometimes initially you think "that blouse and that cardigan shouldn't work together", they just do, and she looks great. I'd not really thought about it as creativity before.

I guess sometimes we take creativity for granted if it comes easy...

[Mary Hicks]

Jules, I'm so glad you said this "out loud!" I'm a very creative person, in very many ways. But it's very difficult for me to admit to being "an artist" because I can't draw a tree (although I love trying)!

Your words are music to my soul. I'm going to go look at my still-dead garden and do some creative planning. XO

[Alfredo]

A chef may not be able to draw a stick man, yet can create amazing dishes. I can compose music, but my cooking skills are limited. I have always envied chefs who can take three beans and an egg and make a full gourmet dinner from it, or landscape artists who can plan a garden to bloom from early spring to late autumn!

Artistic creativity comes is so many forms. I would even venture to say that raising a child is an art! I am sure, Mary, that if you stop and look you will realize that you are an amazing artist.

[Mary Hicks]

Alfredo, great to "see you" again! You are so right. I married a chef (many years ago) who realized that being an artist with food was not his calling. Now he feeds people in a different way; he went to seminary and is now an Episcopal priest!

The beauty of it is that he taught me how to make pie crust; he taught me how to shuck clams; he taught me how to take a plain palette and turn it into something desirable.

I am a good cook. I am great at "putting things together" such as jewelry and accessories. Color - all color - is one of my passions.

Playing the piano gives me great joy.

There are so many aspects to artistry that it is sometimes overwhelming! Right now, I wish I just knew one of them. Oh, well. Having great reinforcement here at CCS, as well as great friends, makes it all the easier.

Blessings to you on your journey of writing and creating beautiful music. I envy you your "one-sided" focus of it all! Simplicity really does have its advantages...you may disagree, but I think you won't. Whatever, I think what you do is extraordinary and appreciate that you are willing to share your journey here with us. Isn't this a great place?!

[Mary Hicks]

Did I mention the fact that we are raising a child -- who is now a 12-year-old boy? Please, please pray for us!!!

[Alfredo]

Hi Mary :-)

I come in often to read posts and every so often feel inspired to post myself. Lately, I have been so focused into finishing my next album that have barely had time to breathe, let alone comment of much of anything. I have a month left before the final mixing comes in, so I HAVE to be finished by then. Luckily, I am about 2 songs away from putting an end to it. HURRAH!!! (I always like to joke that each new album project keeps me hostage until the end, but I am beginning to think it is true).

I wish I could say I only focus on creating music. Sadly, I have to focus on the 'business' aspect of my music almost as much (if not more) as the creative aspect. It is not something I enjoy, but a necessity at this time. I do agree, however, that simplicity is indeed an advantage and look forward to finding some very soon. For starters, I am taking a year off from another album release. I very much need this after three consecutive releases which have left me pretty drained and burnt out. Taking a year off will allow me to concentrate further on the business aspect of my music as well as composing when the creative urge comes to get me rather than my having to chase it out of deadline force.

I have to say CCS has definitely helped me move through blockages and inner critics that appeared throughout this process with the current album. I love this place!

A 12 year old boy? Wow, the age when they get 'independent'! LOL.