Me and My Inner Critic...

[Dan Goodwin]

We all have negative voices in our heads sometimes, telling us we're useless or a failure or can't do something...

So what are your positive experiences in dealing with your inner critic? What techniques do you have for keeping those negative thoughts in check?

What do you call yours? And what does it look and sound like?

Let's get our inner critics out of shadows and into the light!

[Detta]

wow dan, just my first blog for yonks and it was mostly about my inner critic! Well it's safe to tell you mine are all present and in robust shouting order. I have daily chats with most of them when I remember they have sneakily come out to play. I call them the gremlin committee and am learning to lessen the amount of attention I give them. From my Kaizen training I like to use; 'so what I'm doing it anyway', 'close enough' is a good one for miss prissy perfect, and for the overbearing Ms Should, I use 'I don't care you can't make me'. I am actively making a daily space for my authentic/wisest self to come through, am taking the time to breathe and listen to my intuition and not being in such a rush about things, this helps with the negative stuff. My daughter came up with something I liked when we were discussing this last week, she visualizes a big car wash cleaner - your know the upright sheepskin type ones that turn and clean each side of your car, she is able to put all her negative thoughts just 'out there' floating in front of her and then lets the round cleaner brush take them, her brushes have sticky sides so the thoughts just stick and are taken away....I quite like this one! Finally, I have stopped fighting the grotty grem's, they were there for good reasons in the past, sometimes I learn more about myself from them, I work with those sides of myself I don't always like, and at other times I use some colourful expletives to send them gently on their way - with love and light of course! x

[Eileen]

Mine doesn't have a name, but I see it as a darkness hovering off to the side. It's like a cloud but more solid. Just waiting to jump in and laugh at my efforts.
I'm like the little engine that could-I repeat the opposite of whatever negativity pops in. Even if my mantra is " stop the bad thought", I keep saying it(sometimes out loud)until the darkness retreats to it's corner. My voice is stronger than the critic's.
eileenkny

[Lin Neiswender]

Mine is sticky like that nasty chewing gum from the parking lot that sticks to the soles of your shoes. And that's how I need to think of it, as something to be scraped off and discarded! I get past it by thinking, "You don't know sh*t about what I'm working on" and pressing ahead when the Voice of Doubt starts ringing in my ears. I like the idea of having a different mental picture for each of the particular types of inner critic, like Ms. Should and the others Bernadette mentioned- think I will adopt that as well.

[Alfredo]

Oh boy...do you have an hour? LOL. It is ironic that my first album was titled 'Shadows'!

I can say my inner critic is loud before, during and after composing. Also before, during and after the album is created. Also before, during and after it is released. I could go on like this. Even after I may get a positive review or even an award, that still, loud voice will rear its head and try to discredit it. "Well, it was just a radio station" or "That is only ONE award...and it was not Billboard." Or even as I compose: "Oh, a 'real' musician would not have chosen THAT chord arrangement" or "You call that a violin???"

I guess my first step in dealing with this voice is not to see it as something separate from me, but myself. Then to try and understand WHY I am doing this to myself. Most of what I could find goes back to childhood experiences of rejection and being 'left out.' I tell myself that most of what I am telling myself negatively about my art stems from these experiences and have little or nothing to do with what people out there experience with the work I do. In fact, I am yet to receive a thoroughly negative review, so there should be no reason for my negative 'saboteur.'

As my therapist once said: "Could that voice inside you also be responsible for the great art you create? Where do you feel you might be if it was not there pushing you?" Those questions game a lot to think about. It is because of that voice nagging and pushing me that I try to excel at my work, bettering myself even more each time. Ands while that struggle is indeed a struggle, I see myself as a better artists each time. My quest now is to find out how I can do the same without the negative chatter inside me.

[Detta]

Alfredo you are so right when you say it is part of you, warts wrinkles and wobbly bits are what make us who we have become! I think most creative sensitive souls can identify with the rejection, ridicule or being ignored in our childhoods, the question I ask myself is 'who would I be without having experienced this, what is the strength that I have developed from that experience?' That can be quite enlightening as well as an anchor to use when those annoying voices pop up. Facing them, acknowledging them and observing them without attaching anything to them can be the key to lessening the power they have over you. Again you are quite right about seeing yourself a better artist, although I might say a different word in place of better, maybe more compassionate, empathetic, deeper whatever word describes your art might for you help again to come out of the duality of worse/better....just a thought!

[Alfredo]

There was a word that came to mind as I read your post, Bernadette, and now it is gone. But I guess it was more a 'feeling' than a word that encompasses all those words you listed. They applied so well. I guess by a 'better' artist I meant a more 'comfortable in my artist-skin' artist. But I do tend to measure myself against my past projects and where I am presently in my work. For some reason, I tend to want to surpass whatever I have done. The book 'Art & Fear' that Barbara recommended is truly nailing these issues for me.

[WildCherry]

I think its natural for us all to want to surpass what we've done, Alfredo! We would only be bored if we kept repeating at the same level...Though perhaps we might just tell ourselves that that is going to happen anyway and its not something we have to TRY to do...

I tend to agree with you that I regard my inner critics as remnants of my childhood and school/college experiences. I have worked with trying to understand those experiences and flag when they are repeating themselves in my life now without cause but I hadn't thought of trying to see how those critics are also a positive influence. I'll definitely give it some thought though...I'm sure it will provoke some interesting revelations. Thanks:-)

[Jules]

have replaced the term 'Better Artist" with the term evolving artist.
I believe that my work will evolve in it's own time, in it's own unique way.
My world view and life philosophies change and evolve with each passing stage of my life, and I believe that my art reflects this. By comparing work I did years ago with work I did recently I can see this happening.

[debb]

Jules
this is a great concept
Evolving Artist

I really like that esp. as I am a gradual student (still in the school of hard-knocks and the college of life)

and each stage of life, each day really, brings a new perspective.
good term for what we really are
huggs
debb

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

The key here I think is in the desire to do better than your previous work. Not better than some "other" out there ...

Comparing our old selves to our new selves is okay in my way of looking at things and is necessary if we are to grow! Or if we are even to continue to create. Once we say, okay, that's the best I can do and rest on our laurels, we're done ...

[Lin Neiswender]

Gerrit,

Your English sounds pretty good to me! I like your idea that what you create must be authentic, in harmony with the inner being, and that what emerges is in fact "good enough". I am very critical of my work and could stand to take your advice to heart. Fear of not doing it well enough has held me back in the past and still does to a certain extent. Lately I've been getting braver and experimenting more, and may I say it feels good! I will continue to step out of my comfort zone regardless of what the inner critic is saying, and know in my heart that what I create is good enough for where I am at the moment. You serve as a good example, my new friend!

Lin

[Dan Goodwin]

Hi Gerrit,

I like what you said: "When I begin to compose, I start to bring to life what my feelings tell me. I feel complete when I listen to a finished song and can say: YES, this is what I truly love. I think the issue is to be authentic."

I believe too that if we create what need to create, and with passion and care, then that will come through in the finished art, that same passion, love, energy and authenticity.

By the way, Benny Andersson, arguably the best pop music writer we've ever known! If anyone wants to know how to write fantastic pop music, go listen to ABBA and deconstruct each element of the song and how's it all been layered together. It's an education...