Me and My Inner Critic...

[Dan Goodwin]

We all have negative voices in our heads sometimes, telling us we're useless or a failure or can't do something...

So what are your positive experiences in dealing with your inner critic? What techniques do you have for keeping those negative thoughts in check?

What do you call yours? And what does it look and sound like?

Let's get our inner critics out of shadows and into the light!

[Charlene Reeves]

My inner critic has gotten the best of me lately. I need help I re-read the story and the dragon has got me right where he wants me Jules and without knowing how to begin I don't know anythine except but to say do what you want. I hate that. I hate the freedom I give it and i hate the fact that I give it the freedom. Throughout my abuse I laid down and let them wallow all over me as they wanted now I have for the past 6 years been doing great until mom died in Oct. and my sister has continually shamed me. I consider myself strong and can't prove that things will not get to me through pure human strength and mind over matter. Needless to say that never works so I am back to the beginning of allowing others to do as they wish. I am trying not to hate myself for I know it isn't my fault. Or is it-not understanding why I continually repeat this and allow myself to be placed in this position.

[Jules]

Oh Charlene...if I lived close I would come over and pick you up and take you out for tea or coffee and talk. It is amazing how helpful simply talking to someone- who you know to be on your side in this thing called life- can be.
I think you are strong- just the fact that you survived- and was doing good for the past six years. Your Mom's passing is a temporary setback. I am sorry to hear that your sister's way of dealing with herself is to strike out at you. Frankly, that sucks.
I do not know the entire dynamics of your situation, but I do know the feeling of being that, how shall I say it...'yes girl'- the one who will do what others want over her own wants. I was that girl at one point...in fact I had placed myself in the position of doing what everyone else wanted to the point of not knowing what I wanted anymore.
Don't hate yourself, or blame yourself...rally. Be your own best friend, rather than an enemy.
Pure human strength and mind over matter only got me so far as well...it was not until I allowed Spirit to enter and grow that things really turned around. Mind Body and Spirit working together is a powerful force. I do not like to advise, but I want to suggest you find a way to connect with Spirit- seek a path to the Universal Power- what ever name you want to give to that...and I only suggest that because that is the source of the strength that powers my mind and body.
Geesh. I do not mean to sound preachy, and I am sorry if I did. In a nut shell, all I intended to say was forgive yourself- the fact that you realize you continually place yourself in that position is huge...with awareness comes possibilities.
I am on your side, in this thing called life. :-)
I sent a friend request- you can PM me any old time if you just need to get some things said!
Banana kisses

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

(((Charlene))) please consider my shoulders available as well ... loss of your mom is a great loss, and having to bear someone whose intent is to shame you is something nobody needs in their life at any time. I keep you in my prayers ... sending strength to speak up and tell your sister this is no longer acceptable. That she can take responsibility for her own fine self and you will do the same.

Hugs and please keep in touch, okay?

[Charlene Reeves]

Thanks everyone for all the wonderful replies. I love you all.

[debb]

sometime the hardest thing is to stand up & say I'm not going to take this anymore...
but it is often the best thing you can do for yourself to regain yourself.

I've let myself fall back into being the push-over many times & it is really hard to just say that this is unacceptable & I'm not going to take it anymore.

huggs
debb

[debb]

one more visual from me about this subject.... when I really feel like a door mat this song can help me put things back into perspective (without the music on these words them selves are empowering)
Not going to take it anymore

huggs
debb