Getting What We Want Means Detaching From It

[Lin Neiswender]

Got this today in a Feng Shui newsletter, the Red Lotus. It had some hitting-close-to-home insights and some good advice so I thought I'd share. I hope you'll check it out.

Lin

Letting Go Removes Obstacles to Receiving


What are you ready to move on from? The fall is a wonderful time to take stock of the year and reassess what you’ve accomplished and what you want to shed in your life.

Psychologists often say that we often won’t let go of a negative situation because we’ve either not experienced enough pain with the situation or what we think of as pain is actually something we enjoy. In other words, there’s something that we are getting out of our so-called negative situation.

In letting go of what you don’t want, try assessing the following:

• Am I really, truly ready to move on from _______?
• And if so, what is stopping me?
• Or, am I really getting something out this negative situation?

You may find that even in a bad situation, you want to hang on to it because it validates your negative thoughts or opinions that you might have of yourself. My husband had a sciatic nerve problem in his right hip. He’s had it since I’ve known him which is over twenty years. Every single night before bed, he’d complain about that hip and would pound away at it. All my massage of Tim's hip was in vain, too, as his hip would seemingly freeze solid.

But, this summer, we went to an amazing massage therapist in Taos, New Mexico. After my husband’s massage, I asked the therapist how it went and he told me he fixed my husband’s sciatic nerve problem. I told him that I was glad that tonight his hip wouldn’t bother him. He then looked straight at me and said matter of factly that Tim’s hip would never bother him again. I was astonished.

Tim came out looking like a new man and on the way home we discussed if he was really ready to let go of his nightly companion of pain. He said he was and I had to consider it and came to the conclusion that I, too, was ready for his hip pain to go.

You see, we get used to pain.

We become accustomed to things being bad that it becomes the “way things are” for us. Over a year ago, on my way to a size 14, I told myself that I was no longer going to criticize myself and the way I looked. I stopped all negative self-talk. I truly count this as the source of my undoing when I would try to make changes before. To date, I held on to more than 15 pounds of negative self-talk and almost three dress sizes of self-critical comments. I’ve gone from XL tops to Medium, from size 12-14 to 10’s and on my way to size 8.

Letting go is sometimes the best way to find ourselves.

To lose weight, I had to stop criticizing myself, but I also made different choices. The choices I made were sustaining ones – ones that now are my life. I didn’t go on a diet, I changed my lifestyle because it was my eating lifestyle that was getting me into trouble.

One cautionary note is that you have to be completely honest with yourself. Do you enjoy your pain – is it a crutch, something to hold on to and blame for everything else in your life that makes you unhappy or goes wrong?

Most of us at any single time have a solitary thing that makes us the most unhappy. I know someone who has serious neck problems but is scared to death of having spinal surgery that would make him pain-free. This person would rather have the pain and keep it, like an old friend, than be free and unrestricted from it.

Ask yourself what you’re holding on to and consider what you want to let go of. That could include any of the following:

• Weight
• Pain
• People who hurt you
• Objects that you dislike or make you unhappy
• Ideas or concepts about yourself that are harmful or no longer useful
• Situations, like jobs or relationships that are making you unhappy
• Clutter, paper, clothes, objects, furniture
• A mole, a wart, a physical aspect about yourself that you dislike
• Inconveniences or burdens on your time and energy
• Other people’s problems that are “given” to you
• Something that’s eluded you, like success, money, love, a certain clothing size

These are just a few of the common things that you might want to move on from. If so, this is the time to do it. The fall is a time of letting go and then starting over. Give serious thought to making the one change that could make the biggest difference in your life.

What did Tim's hip therapy enable him to do? In feng shui, the hip is associated with the southeast sector and wealth (and the creation chakra). After his treatment in Taos, he earned one of his largest commission checks and the checks have been flowing ever since. In my year of losing weight (mostly on my hips!), I've also increased my income. In fact, this year, we are both on track to double our income. Letting go has been very profitable.

Letting go of the pain and frustration in your life unblocks your life so you can receive what you want – and that even includes ideas. And if you’re frustrated by an idea, such as lack of success, then give it up. Let go of your attachment. You might find your biggest gains come from letting go.


An open palm holds more water than a fist
Kathryn Weber




© K Weber Communications LLC 2002-2008
Kathryn Weber is the publisher of the Red Lotus Letter Feng Shui E-zine and certified feng shui consultant in authentic Chinese feng shui. Kathryn helps her readers improve their lives and generate more wealth with feng shui. For more information and to receive her FREE Ebook "Easy Money - 3 Steps to Building Massive Wealth with Feng Shui" visit www.redlotusletter.com and learn the fast and fun way how feng shui can make your life more prosperous and abundant!

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Excellent article ... thanks for posting it, Lin! It's true in so many areas of our lives, we cling to something just because it's familiar sometimes, so it's difficult to let go of that and move on to something better. It can be done ... sometimes all it takes is becoming aware of it!

[Patricia]

Hi Lin
Thanks for the link.I visited it but I still don't understand how to improve my house.I've read three books on Fen Shui,which I lent and never came back home, maybe that's why I can't figure it out, I don't have MY books.I'll try to understand it,I have a crystal ball which I placed over the main computer at home, a wonderful windchime we bought during a holiday.Its sounds makes us sleep peacefully, even our neighbours love it. I have a fountain facing the front door,frogs . I think that the best way would be to call an expert to understand it. Some people say that you have to place these things where you feel they are good for you. That's what I did.-
The article points out something that's true, our beliefs can keep us from moving ahead.Words to think:
We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.
Charles Swindoll

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

I find all the rules of Feng Shui are confusing, too and I just have not taken the time to study it either, Patricia. I have a couple of books but they are gathering dust on the shelf. I do a few things here and there, from newsletters like the one Lin posted above .. and when I read some of the things, like the direction that your bed should be in and such, I had already arranged them the way that they advised, so that was good. I love my wind chimes ... I have a lot, but the biggest one sounds best :) And somewhere out in the back there has been a real frog calling for a few days!

[Lin Neiswender]

I posted it for the non-Feng Shui aspects of the article, which I thought were very important. The rest was secondary. I think I need a Feng Shui consultant too; maybe we can find ourselves one! I have the compass but I need the drawing of the floor plan to really get anywhere. Hope your books come home!

[Jules]

I have tried to understand feng-shui...I sort of gave up on ever understanding it in anyway that would enable me to apply it to my home.
With the exception of de-cluttering so that energy can flow...that I understand.
Thanks for the article Lin- Back in the day- when I clung to a bad thing it was miserable but familiar. The unknown was fearful. I could not break the cycle until my fear of the known became worse than my fear of the unknown.
All this extended suffering only to find out the unknown was beautiful :-)

[Lin Neiswender]

Wish life didn't always have to hit me upside the head with a 2 by 4 before I get it, Jules!

[Jules]

You too? LOL. I hope your head is as hard as mine- or does the pink hat cushion the blow?
I came across an American Indian Medicine Wheel book and when I was reading about the moon I was born under it said that people born then bumped their head on things more than people born at other times. It seem that our random creative thoughts distract us...Now at least, I know I may not be the only one who bangs her head getting into the car.It went on to say that other than a bumpy head we were relatively healthy people.

[Lin Neiswender]

I do that all the time! We are lunar twins maybe Jules!

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Well I've been called a bobble head ... but I do try to be attentive enough to avoid the head banging ... ROFLOL!

[Camille]

This is a terrific article for me to be reading at this time, Lin.

I am in pain and I am embracing my grief, accepting it for now and knowing it will pass...I get the feeling that if I do not do this I will not heal properly.

I will be diligent in my awareness of the healing process, and I look forward to being 100% again.

It is hard to accept the things I do or don't do during this grieving- to- healing time...but every day I remind myself it will all pass and I remember that to accept it ALL...and I will have learned some new things about myself, and come out of it with new lucidity and strength and share all my new awarenesses with others, and so, maybe help them.

This article is one I will come back to from time to time!
Thank you for sharing it!

Hugs from Camlle

[Lin Neiswender]

I am glad it is helping you Camille. Remember you can turn to us for help, too. You've got lots of phone numbers and you're in lots of pockets!

Hugs,
Lin

[Camille]

Thanks dear Lin! Just knowing this brightens me!