How does or has GRIEF effected your creativity?

[Camille]

Many of us 'Spacers have been through painful periods of grieving, mourning and sorrowing.
Spacers write of loss of their pets, serious health challenges that debilitate, divorces, and loss of family or friends, and then there is catastrophic loss through natural disasters, car accidents, etc.

We grieve when we meet with these critical life challenges. I am grieving right now for the recent loss of a much loved soul-mate. It has made me wonder how our grief and sorrow effects our creativity...

Did you create during times of grieving or put it away?
Did sorrow change your creative habits?
Did you use sorrow as a starting point for a new inspiration?
Did it change the way you made art or the images you produced?

I would love to read of your experiences regarding how grief effected or is effecting your creative live...Please do share here!
Sincerely, Camille

[Camille]

Being that I am in the middle of mourning for my soul-mate, I can only tell these few weeks, that my creative motivation goes up and then down. However, I have been loving the comfort of doing the zendoodles everyday.

I do not find that I have the focus for a real PROJECT yet, though I find I can still brainstorm about things creative, even in sadness...

In the near future, I wonder if I will eventually drown my sorrows in a frenzy of projects, or if I will be less inspired to follow through...I wonder if my process will change and if my images will show deep feelings of mourning...time will tell...

I wonder if my feelings of passion and joy for creating will return and when that will be...when will I start finding the fun and playfulness again.

I know I will not scrap my creativity altogether, though it may take me longer to get started and to follow through to the end.

Maybe after the memorial services at the end of September, with a bit more closure...normalcy will return....Love Dabs

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

My husband's nephew, Robert, was thrown from the back of a pick up truck when he was fourteen, and he suffered a serious head injury. He was in a coma for a few weeks, and I visited daily. It was a terrible time for the whole family, especially his grandparents, not knowing how he would be when he was allowed to regain consciousness. I did a pencil drawing of him looking directly at the viewer, with all the tubes and things that were keeping him sedated and alive ... sigh. During that time there was a song by Peter Gabriel that was popular, called "In Your Eyes" and I always think of Robert whenever I hear it. He survived the trauma ... he had to re-learn how to walk and how to swallow, and made fast progress, amazing all the doctors and nurses who cared for him. However, emotionally he was very unstabl ... he later became addicted to heroin, and he accidentally overdosed while he was in a rehab facility, at the age of 21.

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

I never showed that pencil drawing to anyone. I don't even know where it is, now. I went looking for it, but didn't find it ... though I did find some attempts at still life in pastel, that I did in another lifetime ... I just photographed a few, and will upload them to my photos ... thanks for prompting me to look at my old stuff, Dabs.

[Camille]

Barb, I am looking forward to seeing the photos...glad you were prompted to look through old stuff! How did it feel to look back?

[Camille]

OMG Barb, that video gave me the absolute chills and I am tearing as I write this!
The two birds at the end really clinched it for me!

One of Les' favorite symbols was the eye in the hand!!! He drew it all the time!

Thank you for this inspiring video! I love it! (((((((HUGS)))) from Dabs

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Glad you liked it :) I was pleasantly surprised, too, Dabs. I remember that MTV was popular at that time, but I don't recall having seen this video before.

[Camille]

Thank you for sharing that very miraculous but sad story about your husband's nephew!!! You must have loved him dearly, to visit everyday...did you talk to him in his coma? What kind of things did you talk to him about?

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

You know, I can't remember what I said to him during the time he was in coma, only to let him know that he was loved and would get well soon. After he came back to consciousness, he was very childlike and serious at first, and did not remember what had happened. He was convinced that someone had beat him up (he also had a broken leg). It was a joyful and greatly encouraging day the first time he laughed and began to joke around again, after a couple of weeks. But then, he was unstoppable ... one time, he mooned the nurses! He was a real handful for them ... and he would get very angry when he didn't get his way. He was confused about relationships between people. He didn't seem to get that I was his aunt, and he thought that I should marry his dad so I could be his mom ... it was pretty difficult at times, and it was even more so when he came home to live with his dad. They were always arguing and the police were called many times when Robert became violent in his anger. But his dad was there for him all the way. It really tore him up when Robert was left alone and OD'd on heroin while in a rehab facility ... he sued the director, and went through more years of pain, to no avail.

[Camille]

Oh my, Barb...of course he would want to sue the director...what was heroine doing in the rehab center???
But even if he had won the case, it could never make up for the great tragedy that occurred...however, maybe these rehab centers would be more alert as to what was going on with their wards in the future!
Unfortunately, Drugs are so easy to get, if one really wants them, even from inside of a maximum security prison!

[Lin Neiswender]

Must have been a very difficult time for your family, Barb.

[Susan Hosken]

The picture behind my photo here on CCS is a pencil drawing I copied when I was grieving the loss of my dad. It was extraordinary to do and I wouldn't be able to do the same thing now. It was driven by my grief. In recent years the one thing that stays with me when I am grieving is my journal writing. I pour my writings onto the page. When my cat died I handmade a journal and embellished it with beads and filled it full of all the emails and messages of sympathy that I got from people. Grieving over my poor health has been a lifetime pursuit of ups and downs and creativity has played a huge part in that. I always have some project on the go whether it be knitting, cross stitch, embroidery, writing or artwork. I find creating very comforting and I like to see the finished product at the end.
I am most scared of the thought of losing my mum. I have already got a grief journal that I write in giving myself ideas on how to cope when it happens and to use it to write in when the day comes. I have written this discussion in the book as a reminder to do my creative work. I hope I am still with CCS when my mum dies as i will need the love and support here to get through it. I have already found CCS a wonderful place to deal with issues surrounding my bad health. My creativity has taken me to lots of interesting places.

[Barbara Ann Storrier]

Susan, I always thought that image in your photo was an embroidered piece! It is very beautiful. Maybe some day you'll be looking through your journals and will find some ideas for doing a larger piece like this one again. The only thing stopping you, is you ... and I know how that is.